Thursday, March 10, 2016

Chapter 24 – Geoff: Trading in his Hockey Stick for a Walking Stick

The Healing Circle Book Chapter Blog Chapter 24 – Geoff: Trading in his Hockey Stick for a Walking Stick

Join us by reading one chapter per week of our book The Healing Circle which includes inspiring true stories and teaching from the ‘Skills for Healing’ Cancer Weekend Retreats. Each week we will post the next chapter of our book, links to related video, and a blog about the chapter. Learn about recent scientific advances in the body-mind-spirit connection, updates of the people featured in our book, and our reflections on each chapter. Read the whole book for free by accessing the previous blog posts. Please send us your comments and questions! Deep peace and healing, Rob Rutledge, MD and Timothy Walker, PhD.

Read Chapter Twenty-Four: Geoff – Trading in his Hockey Stick for a Walking Stick

Watch the Video: Healing and Cancer – Stories of Empowerment

Dr. Rob Rutledge, MD, Oncologist and Associate Professor, tells the stories of ordinary yet remarkable people affected by cancer, and how they were able to empower themselves at levels of body, mind and spirit on the cancer journey.

Blog by Dr. Rob Rutledge

Embracing and Transcending the Empowerment Paradigm

What do people who have been given a cancer diagnosis want? With 25 years experience on the cancer wards and in support groups I’ve learned they want three things.

To maximize their chance of recovery and longevity
They want to feel better by learning how to deal with those most difficult emotions like fear, and the stress of seeing their loved ones suffer. They want to come back home to themselves, to settle down the emotional roller coaster, to reclaim a sense of peace and calm in the midst of the turbulence.
They want to be able to function better, to maximize their mental and physical capacity.

To help people fulfill these goals we teach an integrated approach: getting the best care from the medical system, and combining it with ways to empower oneself at levels of body, mind, and spirit. This approach requires a pro-active attitude and discipline. For instance, exercising daily is probably the single most effective way of improving your health and happiness (though practicing a relaxation technique like meditation is a close second). When you use your willpower to follow the proven healthy habits science teaches, you can make a tremendous difference in how you feel, the quality of your life, and for some people, the chance of recovery from cancer.

I believe strongly in this empowerment paradigm. When we take care of our bodies we give ourselves the best chance of manifesting our love and spirit into the world. Geoff, featured in the attached chapter, tests this capacity to the extreme. The image of him wasted away on his hospital bed, barely able to lift his arms, doing the modified sit-ups, is heroic in scope. This pure force of will culminates three weeks later in a five-step journey from bed to sofa which now marks the anniversary of the Young Adult Cancer Canada annual walk. Geoff continues to work with the long-term side effects of his double bone marrow transplant, and admits to needing nine hours of sleep every night to be able to function optimally in his ground-breaking organization.

This story of triumph through hard work and empowerment is inspirational. I hold this level of grit and pro-activity with great respect. But self-empowerment can only take us so far. Ultimately we will bump up against our limits. Brain fog, fatigue and even the realization that our lifespan is limited brings us back to the truth of our limits. If we focus solely on our limitations and frustrations we may miss the miracle of what we have in this very moment, and the miracle of this life.

Geoff’s story is of heroic proportion but not just because of his Herculean effort but because he undergoes a transformation which eclipses his previous phase. “I no longer viewed cancer as the enemy.” Like so many of the other remarkable cancer survivors I’ve met over the years, Geoff was willing to let the winds of destiny direct his life. So while doing everything possible to take care of himself, he simply let go into the mystery.

It may seem paradoxical to both be able to embrace the paradigm of empowerment and transcend it. But we can honour both science and spirit, we can nurture ourselves as individuals and release into the universal, and we can embrace the paradox of holding peace, joy and suffering. We can work hard and struggle emotionally, and at the same time, watch our lives with a great sense of love and contentment. And when we do we can reclaim our already existing wholeness.

Dr. Rob Rutledge is a Radiation Oncologist in Halifax, Nova Scotia, specializing in breast, prostate and pediatric cancers. He is also an Associate Professor in the Faculty of Medicine at Dalhousie University.

In 1999, Rob co-created the ‘Skills for Healing’ Cancer Weekend Retreats. These weekend support groups teach a powerful and integrated approach to the cancer diagnosis and ways to heal at levels of body, mind and spirit. To date, more than 1,600 people have attended the retreats in over 20 cities across Canada and abroad.

Rob also leads the Healing and Cancer Foundation, a Registered Charity, that freely offers educational videos, documentaries, and webcasting seminars – and he is co-author of a book called The Healing Circle, which captures the teachings and inspirational stories from the weekend retreats.

In 2010, Rob received Cancer Care Nova Scotia’s Award for Excellence in Patient Care and, in 2006 Doctors Nova Scotia presented him with the Health Promotion Award in recognition of his contribution to physician health and health promotion in cancer patients.

Chapter 23 – Reframing “I Can’t Do It”

The Healing Circle Book Chapter Blog Chapter 23 – Reframing “I Can’t Do It”

Read Chapter 23: Reframing I Can’t Do It

Watch the Video: Thought Reframing Talk

This talk shows how our thoughts affect how we feel. By using a reframing technique based on Dr. David Byrne’s classic book, Feeling Good, we can work with our most distressing thoughts.

Blog by Dr. Timothy Walker

Reframing & Taming that voice in your head

When we practice mindfulness, we begin to see how thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, and mental structures create an inner world that affects how we feel about ourselves, others and the world around us. Most often our decisions and actions also proceed from this inner world. Having a cancer diagnosis generally cracks open this inner world as some of our inner structures no longer seem to fit with our outer experience of coping with the medical reality of cancer. This can be scary and it is helpful to be aware of ways to cope with fear and readjust our inner world. In this way cracking open becomes an opportunity to learn about reframing.

I’ve just come from co-teaching a graduate education course in contemplative education: education informed by mindfulness and other forms of contemplative practice. My friend and co-teacher told a wonderful story about training a group of elder indigenous women who had been identified as the language keepers of their particular northern communities. As a literacy educator she had a full lesson plan that she wanted to cover the first day to help the elders learn how to teach their languages to the younger generation. As she followed her familiar pattern of laying out all of the main points on a flip chart the elders gently asked her to stop and sit with them in the circle. They needed to be together in community, to tell their stories, and to establish a sense of trust and connection with one another before embarking on the linear intellectual journey she had planned. She was a bit shocked and nervous feeling the sense of pressure, so familiar to many of us, “I have so much to cover in so little time.” But, as it turned out, she was the one that learned a powerful lesson from them about a more holistic way of learning and about the power of allowing time to simply be. As it turns out they were also able to learn the basics of her lesson as well.

Situations sometimes occur in life that help us begin to question our assumptions about what is driving us, what is most important in life and how we want to live. As a cancer diagnosis can interrupt the familiar patterns of life, many people find that mindfulness practice, cultivating a non-judgemental curiosity and attentiveness to their own thoughts, reveals many of the “should statements”, and other imperative drivers that have been controlling their lives since they were small children. Likewise they can begin to uncover some of the feelings of guilt, shame, inadequacy and self recrimination that come from feeling that they can not live up to the ongoing demands of this relentless voice in their head. A moment of revelation comes when they find that the struggle to live according to that driving voice in the head is all a manufactured struggle and ultimately not based in reality. Gradually they learn to motivate themselves with clear thinking based in the here and now, with positive encouragement, inspiration and kindness.

The simple act of reframing your thoughts seems like a very small act and many people may think why bother? This is one of the ways that we tend to disempower ourselves by thinking how could that small effort ever make a difference in my life?

“Remember the great Greek thinker Archimedes who said “Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world.“ Practicing mindfulness consistently and learning to reframe distorted cognitions (confused, irrational and harmful thought patterns) is just such a lever and fulcrum. When you think about it, absolutely everything you experience in life is sifted, mediated, constructed and interpreted through your mind. The software you use to do that is your beliefs, attitudes, thoughts and habitual neurological patterns. Doing the work to change these inner structures, this “mental software”, has the most profound effect on the way you experience, interact and affect your outer world. Therefore your mind is the fulcrum and practice is the lever by which you can move your world.

Timothy Walker Ph.D. is a mindfulness teacher and psychotherapist living in Halifax Nova Scotia with 35 years experience integrating mindfulness into counselling, education and healthcare. He is co-author of the The Healing Circle: integrating science, wisdom and compassion in reclaiming wholeness on the cancer journey and co-founded with Dr Rob Rutledge the Healing and Cancer Foundation. He designed and has taught with Dr. Rutledge the Skills for Healing Weekend Retreats for people living with cancer and their family members 49 times since 1999 in 26 cities across North America. He has taught at Dalhousie University, Acadia University, and Mount St. Vincent University as well as hundreds of workshops, seminars and retreats Internationally. A student of Tibetan Buddhism since 1979, he received both an MA and Ph.D. in the psychology of meditation. In his private practice, The Healing Circle, Timothy sees individuals, couples and families and is open to distant consultations.

Chapter Blog Chapter 22 – Reframing Distressing Thoughts

The Healing Circle Book Chapter Blog Chapter 22 – Reframing Distressing Thoughts

Read Chapter Twenty-Two: Reframing Distressing Thoughts

Watch the Video:

How Understanding your brain can empower your life for professional caregivers

Recent brain science shows we can change the structure and functioning of our brains in a positive way through simple daily habits like practicing relaxation and ‘taking in the good’. Dr. Rob Rutledge, oncologist and support group leader, will extend these teachings to healthcare professionals and focus on ways to
a. Calm yourself in stressful situations
b. Reframe distressing thoughts and emotions
c. Live your life in an more calm, caring and connected way.

Blog by Dr. Rob Rutledge

As an alternative to the tale featured in our book, sometimes Tim or I tell the following Zen Parable:

What is the difference between Heaven and Hell?

There was once a powerful samurai warrior in Japan who was nearing the end of his career. He had been a leader of men, selflessly dedicating his service to the emperor and his country. But he began to worry about the afterlife, and whether he would go to heaven because he had killed so many men as a samurai.

He decided to ask the famous Zen master Hakuin to answer his questions about heaven and hell. After many days of gruesome travel over mountains and rough terrain he finally barged into the zen monastery to find Master Hakuin in quiet contemplation. The monk was such a simple-looking man the warrior became doubtful this small fellow could help him.
But he quickly reasoned that after all this travel it would be pointless to go back without asking his question. Cowering over the peaceful monk he gruffly asked, “Is there a heaven and a hell, and if so, how can I get to heaven?”

Master Hakuin looked up into the warriors eyes, and after a long moment asked, “Who are you?” to which the warrior replied, “I am the Chief Samurai Warrior of Japan. I work directly with the Emperor.”

Hakuin laughed and mockingly replied, “You? A warrior? Ha! You are nothing but talk. You couldn’t even save yourself, never mind our emperor. Besides, you’re too stupid to understand these matters.” He continued raising his voice, “Don’t waste my time! Get out of here, you imposter!”

The warrior’s eyes widened, his face contorted into a deep red scowl, and his body began to shake. In a flash he withdrew his sword and brought it up over the little monk’s head.

The instant before he would have lost his head Master Hakuin calmly said “This is Hell.”

The samurai froze. His eyes softened as he stared deeply into space. Understanding the Master had just risked his life to teach an old samurai a lesson, tears welled up in his eyes, and his body softened. He slowly placed the sword back in its sheath, and knelt down on the floor. He bowed his head deeply at the monk’s feet.

Master Hakuin patted the samurai’s powerful shoulder and said, “This is Heaven.”

It is said that the great samurai warrior threw away his sword and armour, and took up the path of the spiritual warrior.

The teaching in this Zen story is about recognizing how our state of mind leads to our interpretation of the world. We can use a type of meta-consciousness to recognize when we’re feeling angry, depressed, agitated, joyful or any other mood state. If we have the wisdom we can use this awareness to take into consideration our emotional state before we decide how we’re going to respond to a situation. For instance, if we’re feeling tired and emotionally fragile we may decide not to argue with our partner over an issue that isn’t very important. Or alternatively, we might decide to do some journaling about something for which we’re grateful when we’re feeling happy.

The next eight chapters in our book takes this meta-awareness to a whole new level. We’re going to ask you to become much more conscious of your thinking. Pretend there’s a special mind-reading software that writes down your every thought throughout the day. Instead of reading the printout at the end of the day, you’re going to read those thoughts as you think them. You’re thinking – and you’re watching yourself think. It’s what we call mindfulness of thinking.

The skill you will learn in this section of the book is called reframing. You won’t be able to learn this skill until you can accept that your thoughts about the world can be wrong – thoughts do not represent 100% of reality. Your thoughts are simply interpretations. (From the book chapter and the parable above: What is this village like? Who is this Zen master?) Your thoughts are often based on a whole system of core beliefs. The core beliefs are often based on interpretations of how you see the world based on your upbringing, other life experiences and even your genetic predispositions.

It’s encouraging to know each person’s set of core beliefs is malleable. Yes, you still want to use your thoughts to help yourself and others, but while you read the next chapter I’m just asking you stay open to possibility that you can see the world in a whole new way – and reframing can be incredible healing. Many of our weekend retreat participants have told us that reframing was the most powerful skill they learned the whole weekend. I wish you the best in applying the teachings to your life.

The Healing Circle Book Chapter Blog Chapter 21 – Pam: Just Being Me

Read Chapter 21: Pam – Just Being Me

Watch the Video: This 18-minute exercise program is based on ancient Chinese medicine in which Qi (cosmic) is generated and balanced within the body.

Blog by Dr. Timothy Walker

“I love and approve of myself” Mindfulness and Affirmations

I remember sitting in the small group with Pam during one of our Skills for Healing Weekend retreats many years ago. She was a masterful storyteller and held the group’s attention like weaving a spell, each word spoken in her commanding yet gentle voice. Like many other people she had spent much of her life trying to compensate for feeling inadequate and even unloved as a child. She gave to others with all her being and all her heart, as a social worker, as a mother, and as a daughter while her mother was dying, and again for other aging and dying relatives.

Her story is one that highlights the extraordinary power of mind in shaping our lives and our journeys of illness and healing. After she had been diagnosed with an advanced stage lung cancer and after she had realized the preciousness of her very finite life she came across an affirmation suggested by Louise Hay for people with cancer: “I lovingly forgive and release all of my past. I choose to fill my life with joy. I love and approve of myself.” This affirmation seems tailor-made to help Pam transform the way she thought and felt about herself. But it also brings up an important question for all of us.

What is the relationship between practicing mindfulness and practicing such affirmations as the one that Pam found to be so helpful? Generally we think that mindfulness needs to be practised for its own sake, without a goal, especially toward “self improvement”. This is so because only a radical abandonment of thinking about the future (and the emotional rollercoaster that goes with it) can bring you fully into the “now”, which is the only place you find your innate wisdom. Letting go of trying to be the person that others wanted her to be, as well as any future image of herself, and arriving fully in the present to truly be herself, was Pam’s powerful healing.

Nevertheless there is a way to practice this kind of affirmation in the present as a mindful exercise. While saying “I lovingly release and forgive all of my past” one can pay attention to the degree to which you are willing to do that right now. At first you may think you can never let go of the past but gradually, saying this affirmation and leaning into the meaning of it, something begins to shift. You can pay attention to this shift as it happens from moment to moment. You can pay attention to the resistance to letting go as well as the wanting to let go. You can begin to attend to all of the psychological complexities and old familiar feeling patterns that keep you stuck in the past.

Paying attention to emotional patterns is also the way that meditation works: you see in yourself all the ways in which you create your own suffering. And by seeing this, somewhere within there is a deep impulse to heal and be whole, and that innate wisdom of wholeness begins to unwind the confusion. Nature wants us to heal. Our job is to bring our true nature, our pure awareness, and our confusion into contact with each other.

Working with the second part of the affirmation “I choose to fill my life with joy. I love and approve of myself” has other challenges. Practising affirmations is not about merely mouthing the words and hoping some kind of magic will happen. It is, rather, a process of transformation, of acknowledging honestly to oneself that currently your life might not be completely filled with joy, and that, in fact, you might not love and approve of yourself. What is great about that is that it gives you a clear sense of where you are and where you want to be. The contrast in itself raises your awareness, and if you’re lucky, your curiosity.

“Maybe I could be more joyful, and maybe if I practice appreciating the present moment, I can train myself in appreciation, and then in gratitude and then in joy.” The affirmation becomes like a shovel to begin to dig deep into your own dirt and to begin to see what it is made of. That dirt you are digging is made of your thoughts, your habitual feelings and your core beliefs. The great thing is you can change your thoughts, feelings and beliefs in the present moment with mindfulness. So the affirmation is not magic, it initiates a process where you can do lots of mindfulness work in getting to know yourself. Ultimately your knowing knows that there is a way to be, a way to live, that is more loving to yourself and more joyful.

The Healing and Cancer Foundation

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Chapter 24 – Geoff: Trading in his Hockey Stick for a Walking Stick

The Healing Circle Book Chapter Blog Chapter 24 – Geoff: Trading in his Hockey Stick for a Walking Stick

Chapter 23 – Reframing “I Can’t Do It”

The Healing Circle Book Chapter Blog Chapter 23 – Reframing “I Can’t Do It”

Chapter Blog Chapter 22 – Reframing Distressing Thoughts

The Healing Circle Book Chapter Blog Chapter 22 – Reframing Distressing Thoughts

The Healing Circle Book Chapter Blog Chapter 21 – Pam: Just Being Me

The Healing Circle Book Chapter Blog Chapter 21 – Pam: Just Being Me

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