Joanne, a Radiation Therapist, seems especially calm today. Her dark eyes shine and her voice is soft yet confident. We’re working together in the CVsim where we take x-rays of patients in preparation for their treatments. As we work, we share stories about our kids, laughing about how work is the only place where people actually listen to what we’re saying.
I comment
on how peaceful she is and ask if she meditates to help find calm in the midst
of her very busy life. “I could never do that” she says matter-of-factly. “My
mind would be all over the place.”
Christine,
another wonderful high-energy Therapist, is listening in now. She has been
going to a masseuse to help relieve the painful muscle knots in her neck and
upper back that have stopped her from sleeping well for years. I can see that
we can all use the teachings that Tim, my partner in the weekend retreats, offered
me many years ago. So I tell Joanne and Christine about my meditation practice.
Every
morning I get up about 30 minutes earlier than I would otherwise. I kneel on a
pillow in a small room, and begin to focus my attention on the sensations of my
breath. About two seconds into starting I start to think about what I need to
do that day…. “I have a meeting at 4:30 with the radiation oncologists, and
I’ll need to present the new procedure of getting patients with cancer in their
bones in earlier….” At some point I realize I’m thinking about something else
and, without judging myself, I bring my mind back to concentrating on my breath.
Then about three seconds after that my mind starts to wander… “At the meeting
yesterday, when Peilong said that we’d have to update the software on the
medical record system, I cracked that joke, but everyone thought I was being
serious, why don’t I just shut up, I’m such a goof sometimes…” Again at some
time I can see that I’m thinking about something else and I bring my mind
gently back to focusing on my breath. And 3-4 seconds later I’m off on some
other thought. And back and forth I go dozens of times in a single session.
I’ve been
meditating somewhat regularly for 15 years – i.e. nothing has changed, really. Most
mornings by the end of the session I do experience a sense of settling into my
body, a feeling of my energy being grounded in my body. I can see my body, my
emotional energy, and the thoughts that come and go – and an awareness that
holds the human experience (which I believe we all share). The days I meditate
I feel much calmer, happier, and I think I’m a better physician. I can focus on
the person in front of me, pay greater attention to them and allow natural compassion
to come through my words and actions. And I’m more efficient because I can do
one thing at a time and focus my attention – and when I see my mind wandering
off to something else, I can bring it back to the task at hand – just like
during the morning practice.
As I’m
talking to Joanne and Christine I realize I could talk for 30 minutes more on
the recent science showing how meditation actually rewires the brain and all of
its proven benefits but instead I summarize my monologue with “Meditation is
going to be the new ‘exercise and healthy diet’ of the future”
Joanne
nods her head “I think you should teach meditation to all the therapists.” We
start to figure out how this could happen in our busy cancer centre when Christine
asks the obvious question “Could we learn to meditate on our own?”
I offer
this advice. It’s best to find a teacher or a group that meditates regularly
because there is a wonderful palpable energy when people get together to meditate.
But it is possible to teach yourself by watching or listening to YouTube videos
in which the teacher who explains a simple technique like focusing on the
breath. Then practice with or without the audio – even just 5 minutes in the
morning or before bedtime can have a powerful effect on how you feel and how
you sleep.
“I could
never meditate because my mind goes a hundred miles an hour” is a common theme
I hear in my travels. But for me the time we spend in silence is all meditation
– not just the moments when the mind settles and we experience peace.
Meditation is also about becoming friends with ourselves. The emotional energy
is going to vary from day to day and even within a single session. We can begin to see that our thoughts are
going to come and go – and we don’t need to get so attached to them. It’s natural. And we can learn to love
ourselves for our full humanness just as we are.
