Healthy Living and the Body-Mind-Spirit Connection

Healthy Living and the Body-Mind-Spirit Connection

Dr. Rob Rutledge is a Radiation Oncologist in Halifax, Nova Scotia, specializing in breast, prostate and pediatric cancers, and an Associate Professor in the Faculty of Medicine at Dalhousie University.

Rob is also the co-founder of the Healing and Cancer Foundation www.healingandcancer.org which freely offers educational videos, documentaries, and webcasting seminars, and he is co-author of a book called The Healing Circle, which captures the teachings and inspirational stories from the cancer weekend support groups. (The healing circle is available as a fundraiser through CBCN…)

Between new work responsibilities as a manager in a telecom company, and increasingly take care of her elderly parents, Jan had let her healthy lifestyle slip. She had gained weight and found herself puffing up the stairs at home. After her mammogram showed a suspicious change, she quickly took a proactive role in her medical care, and underwent breast conserving surgery, radiotherapy, and has started five years of hormone treatment. Given time to reflect with time off work, Jan also views her diagnosis as an opportunity to help reclaim a healthy lifestyle, empower her body, and to heal her life from a bigger perspective.

Jan is giving herself the best chance of recovery from her diagnosis by receiving ‘Complete Breast Cancer Care’ – the integration of conventional medicine with healthy life style choices and wisdom-based healing techniques. The non-medical components of complete care can be artificially divided into care for body, mind and spirit. It may seem that healthy lifestyle choices would fall into the category of care of the body, but the reality is that care at any one level can profoundly influence healing on the other levels. This article outlines how the body-mind-spirit connection can be applied to the choices she makes every day.

Bringing Spirit into the Body

Jan knows the data that shows that her lifestyle choices actually influence the chance of whether her cancer will recur. For instance, a trial of 1490 breast cancer survivors showed the women who exercised for 30 minutes /day six times a week and who ate five or more servings of fruits and vegetables per day had a 5% improvement in survival at 10 years compared with the women who didn’t practice both healthy choices. The survival advantage held up even for the women who were overweight. (1) In another study women randomized to program teaching them how to decrease the fat in their diet to 20g/day decreased the chance breast cancer recurrence by 2.6% at 5 years compared to a control group (2). Other trials show that being overweight at diagnosis or gaining weight afterwards is a risk factor for recurrence. Though this knowledge is useful, it may not result in Jan maintaining a healthy lifestyle over the long-term.

Drawing on the body-mind-spirit connection to facilitate physical healing may seem unnecessary because Jan could simply force herself to exercise and eat a low-fat diet (high in fruits and vegetables) for fear that her cancer will recur. But as frequently happens, Jan’s motivation to maintain a healthy lifestyle may wane as her anxieties subside. She may easily fall into old habits, and stir the cycle of guilt and worry about her choices.

Bringing a spiritual perspective into self-care can increase the chance of long-term change because the motivation to heal is fostered by love and will continue to grow over time. At the core of the authentic spiritual teachings is an awareness of the sacredness of life. To experience this human life (to love, to give, to cherish, and to receive) is so precious and yet we often lose perspective because of the busyness and distractions in our lives. When we slow down and contemplate the sacredness of life, we can then see that our bodies are sacred too. Our bodies are these amazing media that allow us to go out into the world to connect with others. Our bodies allow us to extend a hand, or to give and receive a hug.

When we honour the body and see how special it is, we can begin to pay close attention to its needs. We can listen to how we feel when take care of it - getting adequate exercise, practicing relaxation and restoring ourselves with restful sleep. When we look at our bodies with great kindness, we no longer need to think about ‘being on a diet’, but instead, can lovingly choose the foods that will nurture us throughout the day. We are bringing the spirit of love right down into our every cell.

The Power of Mindfulness

Jan joined an 8-week mindfulness-based stress reduction program to learn one of the most powerful skills in promoting healing. Mindfulness simply means to bring our attention to the here and now with acceptance. It is both a skill that brings us clearly to the present moment, and a window into the spiritual depths of who we truly are.

As a catalyst for physical healing the power of mindfulness is that it reintegrates our mind with the wisdom of our body. For instance at mealtime we can bring our attention to the selection and preparation of our foods to answer the question ‘what is it that my body truly needs right now?’ As we eat, we can slow down and truly appreciate our food and the beauty of being alive. Bite by bite, we can continue to be present to the needs of our body. Being mindful of how our bodies feel in the hours after mealtimes provides the ongoing feedback we can draw on to make future decisions. Jan noticed that she could no longer eat a many fast food dishes without feeling bloated and tired for hours.

Mindfulness also provides us with the feedback to guide our choices about exercise. Jan noticed the high she felt in the hours after her brisk walk or a workout at the gym. It was also a pleasant surprise when her energy and concentration at work began to improve in the late afternoon at work, a time when she’d usually being struggling to be productive. Through mindfulness of her body she also noticed when she pushed herself too hard and felt depleted for the ensuring day.

The second skill that Jan continues to practice after the mindfulness course is meditation. She uses a simple technique to focusing on her breath and increasing the awareness of the sensations in her body, her breath, and the constant stream of thoughts and feelings that come and go. Her meditation practice is not about getting into some altered state, but instead, coming to know and love all of herself. On the days she spends fifteen minutes meditating first thing in the morning, she feels happier and calmer, and is more patient with her colleagues. Remarkably, it’s as if meditation has uncovered a deep well of compassion she has for herself and for all of life. With this feeling she wants to take better care of herself, including making the effort to go to the gym when she can.

The other advantage of meditation is that it reinforces the relaxation response. Practicing a relaxation technique is a skill often forgotten on the list of healthy lifestyle choices. Yet, the health benefits settling the mind and relaxing the body remain indisputable. When we let go of being chronically stressed, every cell in our body gets the signal to repair itself – and immune function improves. Simple exercises like meditation, visualization, or breath-based techniques literally change the chemistry in the blood stream, and change the pathways used by our brains. Practicing relaxation can make us feel happier, think more clearly, and allow us to enjoy our life to the fullest.

Lastly, Jan sought out a counselor to help mentor her on her healing journey. The emotional issues which were driving her poor lifestyle choices were finally being addressed directly. Her core beliefs of “not feeling good enough” and the more painful memories of psychological abuse were blocking her healthy outer transformation. Learning to be kind towards herself, Jan is reclaiming the already existing wholeness of her life.

Yoking the body

Nurturing the body through healthy lifestyle choices can also have a powerful effect on our spiritual life. Jan discovered a Yoga class which she thinks has made the most difference in her recovery. Yoga, like Qi Gong, or Tai Chi are age-old healing practices which have been developed with great wisdom over thousands of years. The benefits go far beyond the improved strength, flexible, and the relaxation response Jan gets by the end of each class. When we practice with attention and a spirit of appreciation, the body can become the vehicle which unites the infinite to the finite. The feeling of bringing life energy or even a higher consciousness right down into the body, is a lived experience that cannot be explained by the western perspective. We can use our body to connect us with something much larger than ourselves – perhaps an inexplicable joy, or a heartfelt compassion for all of life.

1 - Greater Survival After Breast Cancer in Physically Active Women With High Vegetable-Fruit Intake Regardless of Obesity. J Pierce et al. J Clin Oncol 25:2345-2351.

2 – Dietary fat reduction and breast cancer outcome: interim efficacy results from the Women’s Intervention Nutrition Study. Chlebowski RT et al. J Natl Cancer Inst 2006;98(24):1767-76

One of the examples used last night in the re-framing exercise was about a patient who struggled with "why me?" given their healthy lifestyle, lack of risk factors, etc. I was motivated, after the end of the discussion, to read about Jackie in Chapter 27, who had to work on forgiving herself. That is me! I think this review will assist me in finally letting go of guilt, anger and other emotions I've somehow held onto despite other work I've done to try to overcome it.

I am one of about 6% of breast cancer patients diagnosed as metastatic right from the beginning. I had eaten healthily, am not over-weight, had exercised regularly, had a wonderful supportive family, no family history, and not overly-stressed. I was in the final stages of taking the nursing refresher program to go back into my profession when I noticed a lump under my arm-pit, along with some red scratches on the skin there. My mind immediately jumped to inflammatory breast cancer! But for a few days I did nothing, hoping it would go away. My old family doctor had retired and I had a new one who had taken our family on as a favour to another friend of mine "because we were a healthy family" (as I was told). Doctors are hard to find here and can be choosy!

I did, however, end up getting it looked at by her. As I suspected she wanted to complete a round of antibiotics first....which did nothing for the lump but the scratch marks were gone. I was still nervous so my doctor agreed to do a mammogram and ultrasound, even though my prior mammogram within the year was fine. I heard nothing back but felt like the lump was growing. A month later I returned to her. She reminded me that lymph nodes can take a while to shrink back down after an infection and advised me to give it more time. She read the report to me: "there is no mammographic evidence of malignancy" and (ultrasound) "no suspicion of malignancy". She appealed to my nursing background to remember how it is with Mono. I felt chagrined but relieved. I did not ask for a copy of the report, which also happens to state: "negative breast imaging should not delay aspiration or biopsy of a clinically suspicious mass." My doctor believed the tools and, although I was still worried, I was happy to get back to my nursing studies with a clearer mind. I also decided to see a holistic practitioner who assured me my lymph system was acting normally following the stress of the recent death of my mother, and that seeing her could help this healing along.

A month later, I was starting to have pain down my left arm with moderate activity; it started to intensify over the next week. I called my doctor who agreed, finally, to arrange for a fine needly biopsy. I could see that the pathologist was holding back his judgement when I asked if all seemed well when he did the aspiration. Sure enough, I was called to my doctor's office for the results. She stood with her head down and said it was metastatic breast cancer and she had never seen a presentation like this before. I was linked up to our Tom Baker Cancer Centre where further tests and scans revealed a 7 cm mass encasing the left sub-clavian artery (and tumours elsewhere as well) and wide-spread, extensive bone involvement. The shock was immense for our family; it felt like the hole kept getting deeper and deeper that we needed to climb out of.

My husband is incredibly supportive and is a naturally mindful, joyful person who has been there for me every step of the way. I have a great circle of supportive friends as well. I belong to a metastatic breast cancer support group and attend sessions at our Wellspring. Despite all this, distressing thoughts have returned, triggered at different times, which cause me grief and guilt.

"Did I drink too much wine in my life?" "Did I stress too much through the Nursing Refresher program and my mother's death?" "Why didn't I ask for the reports and not worry about being a 'Nervous Nellie'? Why didn't I demand that biopsy earlier?" "Why didn't my Doctor act sooner, based on good clinical skills or even on my concerns?" I do realize that I was metastatic already but the delay made things seem worse, especially for my feeling so very helpless and worried for an extra 2 months.

So, I have been sitting here and really exploring these feelings over again, with the re-framing technique you recommended. The feelings are destructive, causing me sadness, guilt, frustration, and anger. I think I deal with them.....but then they come back!!! I am going to use the three columns from now on whenever such a thought re-surfaces. I'll do it very time. The compassionate parent would say: "your doctor is not perfect and has probably learned a lesson from this. You trusted in her judgement and also in the tools. Trust isn't a bad thing. It may have delayed treatment but you still responded very well to the chemotherapy which followed. You were able to manage to move up some of the tests that were ordered. Cancer is multi-factoral and you will never know why it occurred in you the way it did so dwelling on it only makes you feel bad." And finally: "After 3 1/2 years with this disease, and four chemotherapy lines I AM STILL HERE! And despite some physical disabilities now, I can still see, hear and smell the spring and rejoice in the love of family and friends."

Somehow, I feel like this is the answer for me. I deserve better than I've given myself and it's time for some loving kindness from myself to myself. Thank-you so much for an incredible series that I can apply to my life. And thank-you also for listening to my story. I am looking forward to continued growth and learning.

Anonymous

Dear Maureen

Thankyou for your kind note. By all means, you may put anything I said (or say) on the cancer blog and I have absolutely no objection to my name being shown. I am proud to have been a part of the Skills for Healing weekend and meeting Rob and Tim. I am now reading the "Healing Circle" book which they so kindly gave out to everyone and re-living the experience.

As I said to Rob on the weekend, it is a strange thing, but my life has been so much richer since I was diagnosed with a rare and incurable (for now) version of the bone marrow failure disease MDS, and I have learned so much at our local Wellspring, which hosted last weekend's Healing Circle. Knowing you are among people who know what you are going through has made such a difference and I have learned a great deal about meditation, mindfulness, and yoga too. I enjoy life so much more than I used to and greet each day cheerfully with a smile. The little things don't bother me any more.

Please thank Rob and Tim again for me, for the great work they are doing, and for coming all the way to Brampton to share their message. When I was at Wellspring today, the Healing Circle was the main topic of conversation and everyone said how great it was and how much it helped them.

Kind regards,

Anonymous

As you said there is a real power in hearing from those living in the condition of their physical vulnerability. If only we could all have a little of that sense of vulnerability and weakness in our daily attitudes in a "go get em" society. The thought that came to me is that this acceptance Karen speaks of becomes a kind of strength we don't expect, as it knits us together into wholeness. She also spoke of hopefulness, which has a very powerful meaning when used as hope beyond desire. One of my favourite psalms is "You know my inmost being: you knew me before I was knit together in my inmost being." (Psalm 139:13). In listening to the question about demanding something ("demandez") of God it causes me to contemplate that God (creator, revealer, knower) is a knower of our hope and accepting of it. He/She radiates back love as an answer, saying like Paul (Col. 2:2) "I want hearts to be encouraged and united (also "knit together"/ "woven") in love." (I am inspired to do some word study/exegetical work on the words "knit", "woven" and "united" and their use and correlations in scripture ... by this discussion). People are making an authentic attempt here to get beyond Babel's blockades of meaning and reach one another's hearts, which is a very hopeful thing in of itself. When a Christian friend of mine, who has a chronic illness, speaks about her illness on facebook it has a similar quality of acceptance when she openly reaches out to her friends for acceptance of the pain and anxiety she's feeling and through the sharing of the wholeness (holy) of spirit of others, she feels a sense of acceptance from the comments of love and encouragement she receives back. She has told me that for her the cross is the path that helps her understand her life, meaning that she feels God had a complete identification and acceptance of her pain as well, for he has experienced it and wishes for us to heal in the most profound of ways.

Blessings this day,

Pure Listening

I was practicing 'pure listening' today. Contrast with 'active listening' (where you are pouring energy into what someone is saying, fully of sympathy, dancing to their tune) and 'negative listening' (where you are sucking energy from someone while they speak, ignoring them, caught up in your own thoughts).

Pure listening means staying in your own awareness of what is happening (like a mirror) and even imagining that the person speaking to you is part of your own personal experience, inside your field of awareness. This way, you neither add or subtract anything, but the person will feel themselves drawn into a space where nothing is missing. No need to perform, to convince, to get something, to throw away anything. Silence can come, half a sentence can come. Makes no difference. No judgment. Just two things: wisdom (that "I" am really nothing) and love (that "I" am actually everything). We help dissolve the other's suffering with the wisdom that it is a construction that doesn't change their completeness, and with the love that wants to hold them in that space where their constructions melt like snowflakes falling on the warm water of non-interference.

All part of the view that I think indigenous folks long ago lived daily, which is that all of us inside, in that space of blissful awareness, are already and always complete.

If this is so, a nice question to ask yourself whenever you encounter someone, no matter their external presentation, health or illness, friendliness or otherwise, an interesting question to ask is: 'do I see them as already complete?'

This is also a good question to ask of oneself.

Feedback Worth Sharing!

"It really does give a different way to approach cancer...I like the acceptance of what is versus the "battle or fight of your life" thinking. I first saw the 45 minute video from the week-end retreat and was totally impressed with both Doctors. It gives understanding and compassion to the word doctors...the healers of not only the body but the mind and the spirit. It has made a believer out of me that the spirit can heal the body......and that is a wonderful focus.

Thank you all for making this happen for those of us who live over an hour away. It is awesome."

-Comment from someone who attended our first webcast

http://www.healingandcancer.org/8weeks

http://gingerbreadguts.com/

"In any event, in came the radiation oncologist.

But, hey, for the purposes of this blog, we could just call him Mr. Lovely. Or Mr. Perfect. Or Mr. Super Nice Guy. Or Mr. Special. At the time, however, I called him The Rocket. He was lean and fit and just like my naturopath, his skin glowed with great health and he didn’t miss a trick.

At this point, I really wasn’t thinking about what God may or may not have been lining up so I could reach my goal of ‘Shalom’ – a Hebrew word that means, ‘nothing missing, nothing broken’. I possessed no earthly contacts to advance my pleading case of mastectomy with immediate reconstruction, so I was pretty much biding my time, hanging on to this diseased body part as chemo continued to shrink the lump within.

The Rocket greeted me and I marveled at how well people in medical positions talk to you as though you look perfectly normal to them. He acted like I was not sitting in a washed-out shapeless Johnny shirt, devoid of eyelashes and eyebrows, wearing a wig I singed by opening the oven door with it on while baking. (Melt, baby, melt.)

He asked me something. I don’t recall what, but a greeting kind of question.

I answered him. I don’t recall what, but it seemed like a rather innocuous response.

“So,” he said, “You’re a spiritual person!”

I started to look at him again – more carefully – to see if he was sporting some kind of spiritual antennae that I had carelessly overlooked at first glance. I was completely caught off guard.

“Aaahhh. Ummm. Yes. I am.”

“What kind?”

“Ahhhh. Ummm.” Do I tell him? “Christian.”

“Great!” he said. “Then what would you like to tell me?” There was not one whiff of sarcasm or judgment or disdain in his voice.

What did I want to say, indeed. I was so excited to be the presence of a doctor who actually thought it was okay to bring my spirituality into the cancer equation. What did I want to say?

“I want to tell you that I have listened deep within myself and I’m not going anywhere.” Okay, here it comes. He’s gonna say something about how I can’t hope for that.

“Wonderful,” he said. “So, you need me to help you get, what, another 50 years or so?”

I am really bad at math, so that took a minute for me to compute … Oh, he’s saying he wants to help me live till I’m 95.

“Yes, that would be fine!”

There are many, many things I could tell you about The Rocket. And I probably will. He is a rare and exotic bird living in the forest of doctors.

And if I wasn’t paying attention to what God was doing in the details, that encounter that day with that man reminded me again that Someone with a much bigger view of my life knew I needed a spiritual boost – and a champion inside the system to help me reach my goal.

Unbeknownst to me, The Rocket would play what I would characterize as a divinely pivotal role nearly three months later when I was drowning in confusion and disappointment and anger about how it was all going down."

link http://gingerbreadguts.com/

Listened In

As you said there is a real power in hearing from those living in the condition of their physical vulnerability. If only we could all have a little of that sense of vulnerability and weakness in our daily attitudes in a "go get em" society. The thought that came to me is that this acceptance Karen speaks of becomes a kind of strength we don't expect, as it knits us together into wholeness. She also spoke of hopefulness, which has a very powerful meaning when used as hope beyond desire. One of my favourite psalms is "You know my inmost being: you knew me before I was knit together in my inmost being." (Psalm 139:13). In listening to the question about demanding something ("demandez") of God it causes me to contemplate that God (creator, revealer, knower) is a knower of our hope and accepting of it. He/She radiates back love as an answer, saying like Paul (Col. 2:2) "I want hearts to be encouraged and united (also "knit together"/ "woven") in love." (I am inspired to do some word study/exegetical work on the words "knit", "woven" and "united" and their use and correlations in scripture ... by this discussion). People are making an authentic attempt here to get beyond Babel's blockades of meaning and reach one another's hearts, which is a very hopeful thing in of itself.

When a Christian friend of mine, who has a chronic illness, speaks about her illness on facebook it has a similar quality of acceptance when she openly reaches out to her friends for acceptance of the pain and anxiety she's feeling and through the sharing of the wholeness (holy) of spirit of others, she feels a sense of acceptance from the comments of love and encouragement she receives back. She has told me that for her the cross is the path that helps her understand her life, meaning that she feels God had a complete identification and acceptance of her pain as well, for he has experienced it and wishes for us to heal in the most profound of ways.

Published on April 7, 2011

Cancer education session, discussion Saturday at Glooscap Heritage Centre

Breast cancer survivor Margaret Ross, right, hugs her father Ron Ross at his home in Millbrook. The retired RN wants people to understand the benefits of breast screening and learn coping tools at an upcoming free education session

Glooscap Heritage Centre , Healing and Cancer Foundation , MILLBROOK

MILLBROOK – Margaret Ross will never forget the words she heard sitting with her physician, striking with such force it shook her to the core. "You've got cancer," she heard, as the rest of the conversation became a blur of words. She barely remembers being told referrals would be made as soon as possible to remove the lump growing in her left breast. "It's quite a shock to hear it," said Ross, nearly two-and-a-half years after her positive diagnosis and subsequent successful treatment of the disease. "I actually got lost walking home." Today she is feeling well and is volunteering with the Healing and Cancer Foundation, reinforcing the importance of breast screening and early detection, as well as helping others who share a similar life-changing experience. "The first evidence of problems was around 2002," Ross said. She said a small growth in another area of the breast was tested and considered a false alarm. After that episode, Ross underwent routine breast screening as a precaution. "It wasn't really until toward the end of 2008 there was definitely a tumor in the left breast." Within three months the less-than-two-centimeter growth was removed, followed by radiation treatments. Now at age 59, the former Millbrook resident, retired RN and cancer survivor wants to help others coping with the disease by sharing her story along with educating people about services offered by the foundation. Saturday from 1 to 4 p.m. the foundation will host The Healing Circle, a free public talk and reading by radiation oncologist Dr. Rob Rutledge and psychotherapist Dr. Tim Walker. The Healing Circle is a compilation of stories of people who have been on the journey of recovery from cancer. "I see this as part of my own recovery," said Ross. "I know there are families here who have family members who have been diagnosed with cancer. "Family members don't always have a chance to talk about how they are freaking out, too and this is a chance for them to talk about how they are feeling." Ross said she is hoping people will come to the event to learn about tools, which can be learned to promote good health and maintain it. "Recovery has a lot to do with hope and attitude," she said. "One has to be a fighter to deal with this type of disease." She said the event would give people with a common issue a chance to network and learn from one another, while receiving expert advice from health professionals.

Integrating Wisdom and Love on the Breast Cancer Journey

Introduction to my talk to be given by videoconference on Monday March 14 at 8PM EST entitled “Integrating Wisdom and Love on the Breast Cancer Journey”.

I’m really excited about being with you – people who are so proactive with their own health and health care. You really can make such a difference in your health. Just by listening to this talk, you are sending a powerful message to your body and spirit about healing and wholeness. I want to honour you all.

Over the next 45 minutes with Q+A to follow, I want to provide you with a practical and integrated approach to a breast cancer diagnosis that will give you the best chance of healing both physically and otherwise. To draw on the burgeoning scientific evidence and the wisdom of working with 1000’s of women who have faced breast cancer both in clinic and in our support groups.

But instead of just outlining ways to empower your body, mind and spirit, I’d like to take a step back and explore healing from a much bigger perspective. Because the fact is you already know what’s best for you, you have this information – or you can easily figure it out by truly listening your Self – that quiet voice that can guide your every decision towards what’s exactly best for you.

Instead I’m going to address a bigger question:

How can you live your life with so much love and wisdom, with so much purpose and gratitude, that Healing, true healing, will happen naturally. How is it that you can draw on something so deep that the spirit of life and healing infuses your every cell, directs your every action, and lights your spirit in everything you do? How is it that you can draw the highest spiritual principles right down into your life in the day to day? In so doing, transforming your life, healing yourself at levels of body, mind and spirit.

So this talk is more about the attitude you bring to your cancer experience – and how your approach to your own healing can have a profound effect on the actual outcome.

So you’re going to hear practical advice about what to do to promote healing– but moreso I want to focus on Love, and why adopting a loving attitude towards yourself, others and your relationship with life itself can be profoundly healing.

I first learned about the idea of healing over 20 years ago when I was a medical student searching for the type of doctor I wanted to be……

Contact Julie.s.matheson@gmail.com to learn more.

Or visit www.healingandcancer.org

Emotions & Cancer

Here are a few questions asked by a local reporter in regards emotions and Cancer:
Are previously reticent people more open to discussing emotions and spirituality once they have been diagnosed with cancer?

I have heard that attitude is an important part of beating cancer. How can loved ones help cancer patients change their attitude if it is not positive?

Responses from Dr. Rutledge

The response to a cancer diagnosis is highly variable - but most people approach their diagnosis as they have approached their life. Sometimes the cancer diagnosis can open people right up - like Andrew (see inspiring video link for his story on our website). Cancer provides a real opportunity to realize that life is very precious whether we live for another 2 years or 52 years. When people consider that carefully, they may be able to facilitate a deep transformation in their lives.

Being a loved one is very difficult. Lots of stress and often little to do but listen and brings one's loving presence to the person with the diagnosis. I don't recommend trying to change anyone - I think if we change ourselves - do our own work, deal with our own fears, let go of our judgements, be honest and open with our own emotions, then that brings a space in the relationship which may facilitate a change in perspective - but loving the person for where they are at is the goal.

Facing emotions head on: The most obvious example is working with the fear of recurrence or death. If every time those feelings come up, you simply try to suppress it, then the issue won't go away - and often comes out in different ways. If we look at the fears, we begin to understand them, untangle them, question them. It takes the power away from the fear - and we can let go of the exaggerations and extra suffering

A Few Words From Andrew

The following blog is by Andrew who was featured in Chapter 5 in The Healing Circle. Andrew was treated for an agressive brain tumour over 3 years ago and is doing extremely well.

This is a "Meta-Meditation" he uses everyday as part of his healing practice.

May I be safe from internal and external harm

May I be happy - just as I am

May I be healthy - may my body serve me well

May I be peaceful - and at ease

Like many of life’s events, any healing journey exposes you. It can shatter or build you up depending on your attitude, intention and commitment; e.g., a cancer trek is not for the faint of heart. Character is fostered at all times but in tougher times, whether patient, caregiver or MD, it reveals itself as you are tested of life’s diverse levels simultaneously, that is, physical, intellectual emotional and spiritual.

The journey is made quite complex since it is a marathon not a sprint. For me, meditation became a vital part of a journey (dharma/Path) to health. It reduced stress and offers time to sort things in my mind. I believe it might be helpful for others for, its calming effect reduces blood pressure and helps receive a focus with fortitude that can be coupled with a healthier life-style e.g. balanced diet, exercise and sleep.

One helpful form of meditation I found was Mettā which is one of 10 pāramitās of the Theravāda school of Buddhism*. Buddhists believe that if you are at peace, you become happier in yourself – perhaps a bit like being on an idyllic warm beach in the Caribbean when you know it is winter cold at home in Canada.

While Mettā takes about 20 minutes to do, its effects last longer. Over time, it centers peace into you. It is an antidote to fear since it helps you focus to a return to ‘self’ as it trains your heart. It plants seeds of intention and like flowers, some flower soon but other seeds take a while to bloom.

After preparatory relaxed breathing, meditate on a shortened form (bold) or, a longer form (italics). Longer forms exist but their purpose is the same. They fill your heart’s reservoir with essences of loving kindness, friendliness, benevolence, amity, friendship, goodwill, love, kindness, sympathy and interest in others. The object is love without attachment which starts by expressing it toward inward. You must love ‘you’ before you can love others.

With practice, your reservoir of loving kindness fills. When full, you can direct it to others, friends and foes, known and unknown - like waves ripple out when a stone is tossed into calm waters. You can only give it away easily if you harbour no ill-will and have no personal motive; but if not full, e.g. as a caregiver, your energetic battery drains and leads to ‘burn out’.

Wonderful words craft Mettā, but can you reveal meditative concepts with limits like words? Not really. It is better to feel them; but that said, here is an attempt:

1. Safe - Everyone needs to be safe. Harmful things in a world outside can range from a corrupt political system to street hooligans to fierce weather. It can be worse if you hear harmful voices in your mind ranging from bad habits to unresolved conflicts. Whatever it is, Mettā offers a way to train your mind to get to an inner safe place free from perceptions of danger. It gets front-row-seats to see an amazing person – you!

1. Happy - Everyone dreams to be happy. Imagine the exquisite nature of wanting to be happy “… just as I am …”. This is not the happiness of a new car or a hug which are great; rather, it is a deeper, profoundly simple being-ness of “who you are”. While some say happiness is a choice; others say it’s elusive often realized only by a receptive heart giving this great gift away. This is accepting things observer non judgmentally, as an observer i.e., as they are. It is not complacency. You want to make the world better - as Gandhi once said: “… be the change you want the world to be…”.

2. Healthy – Everyone wants to be healthy! Why would you not want your body(s) to be in fine shape so there is no pain? The good news is that we are human but that often comes with foibles of doing many thing(s) that are destructive to the body e.g. smoking, food excesses, etc. It is paradoxical to want good health but not work toward it. Health is aided when you are aligned with your authentic self – it’s less stress; for, it is you. At a different level, consider what is your body? Is it only physical or are there emotional, intellectual or spiritual fields?

3. Peaceful – We all wish for peacefulness, Mettā’s 4^th request. Being at one with whom you really ‘are’, i.e. your Authentic Self, is the nucleus of ease. It is the opposite of dis-ease. It starts with you and builds to home, country and world from your mind and heart. Only here can a powerful alignment transform you into being at one with yourself and the cosmos. This oneness with others or numinosity is one element in enlightenment (the 2 others are openness and curiosity). It’s in you to discover - you are the only one who can find your peace and how you are connected to others.

Over time, practicing Mettā improves my capabilities, ability to understand my mental and emotional states and deal more effectively with stressors. (Scientifically this meant changing activity in some areas of my brain i.e. temporal parietal juncture and insula - but let’s get back to Mettā.) Meditation soon became a sanctuary, as it reinforces that I must acknowledge the truth of who I am so I feel good about it. Clearly, sometimes facing my ‘self’ is not easy; but by doing it, I feel healthier at all levels. Consider: if I do not heal at all levels, then some form of dis-ease could be still in me. Hence, if I want aspects of Mettā, part of my quest must be to create peace-fullness in all levels of the physical, emotional and spiritual dimensions.

I can easily remind myself of travelling to a beautiful spot and that I can be there virtually any time in my mind’s eye. How comforting! It is similar (but different) to how I felt just before cancer surgery when I felt a surreal sense that all would be fine. A most remarkable comfort showered me. It was a “peace that passed all understanding” the likes of which I have not felt before or since; a feeling so powerful and unique it will be remembered forever.

I had heard that phrase before many times but that was when I experienced it. While that amazing moment cannot be explained scientifically, it launched me on a road to recovery with a feeling this was the place to be - my ‘dharma’ or Path, so to speak.

As my experiences evolve, I re-discover that my journey is more about finding various forms of peace and truth within me. I find the practice of Mettā meditation is one way to grow, cultivate and train my ‘self’ to find ‘me’.

The awareness triggered is that meditation channels a trust, a type of freedom as I contact my ‘self’. This encourages wholeness, (read: health) as I enjoy profound senses of my ‘self’ and my world while being connected with others. Metta is a channel to connectedness that leads to wholeness and happiness. It is the essence of gentlelovingkindness.

Looking back, why had I not done this meditation before? I guess I hadn’t had to. There was no urgency then; but now there is. So I do it regularly now to feel safe, happy, healthy and peaceful during walks in the forest, just sitting in my chair and being with others. Maybe others will enjoy it too.

Cool!