The Healing and Cancer Foundation

Happy New Year !

2012-01-19T13:18:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year! (and Merry Belated Christmas….. oops, a bit slow in getting this out this year). Hope you had a great Holiday break.

I’m sitting at a hockey rink overlooking my son Graham’s hockey practice. Graham, age 13, has suffered three mild concussions in the last 6 months – and this is his first practice back with the team. The first one happened at the cottage while skating backwards on in-line skates. The second, while trying to get past a very large defenseman at a hockey tournament six weeks ago – and the third in hockey practice, three weeks ago, in which the coach was trying to teach the forwards how to forecheck – and Graham played the dutiful guinea pig. Since then he has had grumbling headaches- though we can take solace in the fact he got 100% on his math test a few days after the hit.

The worry about how/when Graham will recover is probably the one outlying stress in my life. I hope he doesn’t have to give up hockey too early because he absolutely loves it. He loves the competition. He loves training. He loves setting a goal for himself.

(Frankly, I hope he doesn’t have to give it up because of the joy it has brought my life. I love being outside shooting shots in the driveway with him, and playing keep-way on the front yard rink. And the rink is just a make-work project, an excuse to get outside and putter).

I guess I’m just mourning the loss of his childhood and the fun we have had together. Though, the flip side of mourning the losses we experience each day is that we can appreciate the life we do have that much more.

Heading the list is family.

I’m really happy for Jeremy, now in grade 11, who has finally hit his stride. He transferred from a private school to the ‘IB’ program in the public system. My impression is the IB teachers are amongst the best in public school and given the volume and difficulty of the material the kids are expected to master (the physics they covered in first two months matches what the advanced ‘non-IB’ physics class will cover in 2 years), Jeremy’s classmates are often as serious about school as he is. (Frankly, I’m jealous of the quality of education he’s receiving).

More than the academics, Jeremy has made some great friends in the larger school. Gabbie, a true friend, just adores him. She took him shopping yesterday to spruce up his wardrobe. I’m happy because she is very bright and very hard-working (which I’m hoping will rub off on Jeremy).

Jer still hosts the ‘improv’ club (2 guys, 2 girls) at our house every week or so. They may not do any improv games – but they watch youtube clips, play games, and have lots and lots of laughs. Again, I’m jealous – way more fun than I ever had in High School.

To fill out a very busy life, Jer is still taking voice lessons with Paula (yet another wonderful person in his life) and is singing in both the high school and regional choir (visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKl1Znn3J54&list=UUBopEbN5Cjz49OMJMA9J7UQ&index=1&feature=plcp to see a Christmas concert song). He loves singing and his choir mates are great people.

Jer got his driver’s licence (he’s a very good driver– cautious and natural ability – and a similar likelihood of drinking to excess as his father ie 0%)

Jer got his black belt in Karate – a test he did I front of about 80 people. I was very proud of him – he’s persisted through four years of training – partly because I go with him, and partly because he likes one of the girls in the class.

Jer and I are also going to the gym together. This started with Jer saying he didn’t know what to do in a weight room –and would like to learn before going to university. So I hired a personal trainer in the early fall who taught us a basic program which we’ve been following about three times a week. For me, it’s yet another opportunity to spend some time with him – at 16, there’s not much advice that he’ll take from me, but the snippets of conversation we have going to and from the gym are the best I get all week.

Cara is her perennial great self – she’s still working from home (mostly the books for my company/ our household). Graham is stuck resting these last few days and Cara is in reading books, and playing audiobooks for him. She is the master organizer of holidays – including our scuba vacation a year ago and the family bike tour in France this past summer. (Gee, so much happens in a single year, it’s hard to convey the fullness of this life). Of France, I can say it was a good thing we were biking 40-60km per day to make up for our daily consumption of 5000 calories of French pastries and fine dining. It was absolutely beautiful and peaceful – and especially enjoyable as sister Lou and family joined us there.

In my other worlds – as a Radiation Oncologist and as the leader of a charity www.healingandcancer.org – all is well. As much as I love support groups and speaking in public I think I would miss the direct patient contact if I quit my day-job. It’s just a very concrete way of helping people. I think Radiation Oncologists are a very satisfied group because the results of the treatment (like lessening of pain) are dramatic and often persistent. I am so fortunate to be paid for what I love to do. (Lovely 9min video on radiation oncology that I help produce this year: visit http://vimeo.com/32336225)

My charity work has been challenging (ie leading an organization while having so much work and family responsibility) and we’re hoping to raise some major funds to sustain our work for the next few years - please say a prayer for me. I do believe that persistence will pay dividends eventually – For instance I gave a webcast ( visit http://vimeo.com/33700823 ) on ‘complete prostate cancer care: how to integrate the best of conventional and complementary medicine’ which was viewed live by 127 computers/people across Canada in early December. And we just found out that we received a $63K grant from the Atlantic chapter of Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation to create an 8DVD set, 45min documentary, and short public service announcement – from the footage of an upcoming retreat for women affected by breast cancer. For more of what’s going happening on this front visit www.twitter.com/healingncancer

So life is fulfilling for me now. And this I hope from deep in my heart for you this year and beyond.

Lots of love to you and yours.

Robr

Healthy Living and the Body-Mind-Spirit Connection

2011-10-23T19:26:00.000-07:00

Healthy Living and the Body-Mind-Spirit Connection

Dr. Rob Rutledge is a Radiation Oncologist in Halifax, Nova Scotia, specializing in breast, prostate and pediatric cancers, and an Associate Professor in the Faculty of Medicine at Dalhousie University.

Rob is also the co-founder of the Healing and Cancer Foundation www.healingandcancer.org which freely offers educational videos, documentaries, and webcasting seminars, and he is co-author of a book called The Healing Circle, which captures the teachings and inspirational stories from the cancer weekend support groups. (The healing circle is available as a fundraiser through CBCN…)

Between new work responsibilities as a manager in a telecom company, and increasingly take care of her elderly parents, Jan had let her healthy lifestyle slip. She had gained weight and found herself puffing up the stairs at home. After her mammogram showed a suspicious change, she quickly took a proactive role in her medical care, and underwent breast conserving surgery, radiotherapy, and has started five years of hormone treatment. Given time to reflect with time off work, Jan also views her diagnosis as an opportunity to help reclaim a healthy lifestyle, empower her body, and to heal her life from a bigger perspective.

Jan is giving herself the best chance of recovery from her diagnosis by receiving ‘Complete Breast Cancer Care’ – the integration of conventional medicine with healthy life style choices and wisdom-based healing techniques. The non-medical components of complete care can be artificially divided into care for body, mind and spirit. It may seem that healthy lifestyle choices would fall into the category of care of the body, but the reality is that care at any one level can profoundly influence healing on the other levels. This article outlines how the body-mind-spirit connection can be applied to the choices she makes every day.

Bringing Spirit into the Body

Jan knows the data that shows that her lifestyle choices actually influence the chance of whether her cancer will recur. For instance, a trial of 1490 breast cancer survivors showed the women who exercised for 30 minutes /day six times a week and who ate five or more servings of fruits and vegetables per day had a 5% improvement in survival at 10 years compared with the women who didn’t practice both healthy choices. The survival advantage held up even for the women who were overweight. (1) In another study women randomized to program teaching them how to decrease the fat in their diet to 20g/day decreased the chance breast cancer recurrence by 2.6% at 5 years compared to a control group (2). Other trials show that being overweight at diagnosis or gaining weight afterwards is a risk factor for recurrence. Though this knowledge is useful, it may not result in Jan maintaining a healthy lifestyle over the long-term.

Drawing on the body-mind-spirit connection to facilitate physical healing may seem unnecessary because Jan could simply force herself to exercise and eat a low-fat diet (high in fruits and vegetables) for fear that her cancer will recur. But as frequently happens, Jan’s motivation to maintain a healthy lifestyle may wane as her anxieties subside. She may easily fall into old habits, and stir the cycle of guilt and worry about her choices.

Bringing a spiritual perspective into self-care can increase the chance of long-term change because the motivation to heal is fostered by love and will continue to grow over time. At the core of the authentic spiritual teachings is an awareness of the sacredness of life. To experience this human life (to love, to give, to cherish, and to receive) is so precious and yet we often lose perspective because of the busyness and distractions in our lives. When we slow down and contemplate the sacredness of life, we can then see that our bodies are sacred too. Our bodies are these amazing media that allow us to go out into the world to connect with others. Our bodies allow us to extend a hand, or to give and receive a hug.

When we honour the body and see how special it is, we can begin to pay close attention to its needs. We can listen to how we feel when take care of it - getting adequate exercise, practicing relaxation and restoring ourselves with restful sleep. When we look at our bodies with great kindness, we no longer need to think about ‘being on a diet’, but instead, can lovingly choose the foods that will nurture us throughout the day. We are bringing the spirit of love right down into our every cell.

The Power of Mindfulness

Jan joined an 8-week mindfulness-based stress reduction program to learn one of the most powerful skills in promoting healing. Mindfulness simply means to bring our attention to the here and now with acceptance. It is both a skill that brings us clearly to the present moment, and a window into the spiritual depths of who we truly are.

As a catalyst for physical healing the power of mindfulness is that it reintegrates our mind with the wisdom of our body. For instance at mealtime we can bring our attention to the selection and preparation of our foods to answer the question ‘what is it that my body truly needs right now?’ As we eat, we can slow down and truly appreciate our food and the beauty of being alive. Bite by bite, we can continue to be present to the needs of our body. Being mindful of how our bodies feel in the hours after mealtimes provides the ongoing feedback we can draw on to make future decisions. Jan noticed that she could no longer eat a many fast food dishes without feeling bloated and tired for hours.

Mindfulness also provides us with the feedback to guide our choices about exercise. Jan noticed the high she felt in the hours after her brisk walk or a workout at the gym. It was also a pleasant surprise when her energy and concentration at work began to improve in the late afternoon at work, a time when she’d usually being struggling to be productive. Through mindfulness of her body she also noticed when she pushed herself too hard and felt depleted for the ensuring day.

The second skill that Jan continues to practice after the mindfulness course is meditation. She uses a simple technique to focusing on her breath and increasing the awareness of the sensations in her body, her breath, and the constant stream of thoughts and feelings that come and go. Her meditation practice is not about getting into some altered state, but instead, coming to know and love all of herself. On the days she spends fifteen minutes meditating first thing in the morning, she feels happier and calmer, and is more patient with her colleagues. Remarkably, it’s as if meditation has uncovered a deep well of compassion she has for herself and for all of life. With this feeling she wants to take better care of herself, including making the effort to go to the gym when she can.

The other advantage of meditation is that it reinforces the relaxation response. Practicing a relaxation technique is a skill often forgotten on the list of healthy lifestyle choices. Yet, the health benefits settling the mind and relaxing the body remain indisputable. When we let go of being chronically stressed, every cell in our body gets the signal to repair itself – and immune function improves. Simple exercises like meditation, visualization, or breath-based techniques literally change the chemistry in the blood stream, and change the pathways used by our brains. Practicing relaxation can make us feel happier, think more clearly, and allow us to enjoy our life to the fullest.

Lastly, Jan sought out a counselor to help mentor her on her healing journey. The emotional issues which were driving her poor lifestyle choices were finally being addressed directly. Her core beliefs of “not feeling good enough” and the more painful memories of psychological abuse were blocking her healthy outer transformation. Learning to be kind towards herself, Jan is reclaiming the already existing wholeness of her life.

Yoking the body

Nurturing the body through healthy lifestyle choices can also have a powerful effect on our spiritual life. Jan discovered a Yoga class which she thinks has made the most difference in her recovery. Yoga, like Qi Gong, or Tai Chi are age-old healing practices which have been developed with great wisdom over thousands of years. The benefits go far beyond the improved strength, flexible, and the relaxation response Jan gets by the end of each class. When we practice with attention and a spirit of appreciation, the body can become the vehicle which unites the infinite to the finite. The feeling of bringing life energy or even a higher consciousness right down into the body, is a lived experience that cannot be explained by the western perspective. We can use our body to connect us with something much larger than ourselves – perhaps an inexplicable joy, or a heartfelt compassion for all of life.

1 - Greater Survival After Breast Cancer in Physically Active Women With High Vegetable-Fruit Intake Regardless of Obesity. J Pierce et al. J Clin Oncol 25:2345-2351.

2 – Dietary fat reduction and breast cancer outcome: interim efficacy results from the Women’s Intervention Nutrition Study. Chlebowski RT et al. J Natl Cancer Inst 2006;98(24):1767-76

2011-06-05T17:54:00.000-07:00

One of the examples used last night in the re-framing exercise was about a patient who struggled with "why me?" given their healthy lifestyle, lack of risk factors, etc. I was motivated, after the end of the discussion, to read about Jackie in Chapter 27, who had to work on forgiving herself. That is me! I think this review will assist me in finally letting go of guilt, anger and other emotions I've somehow held onto despite other work I've done to try to overcome it.

I am one of about 6% of breast cancer patients diagnosed as metastatic right from the beginning. I had eaten healthily, am not over-weight, had exercised regularly, had a wonderful supportive family, no family history, and not overly-stressed. I was in the final stages of taking the nursing refresher program to go back into my profession when I noticed a lump under my arm-pit, along with some red scratches on the skin there. My mind immediately jumped to inflammatory breast cancer! But for a few days I did nothing, hoping it would go away. My old family doctor had retired and I had a new one who had taken our family on as a favour to another friend of mine "because we were a healthy family" (as I was told). Doctors are hard to find here and can be choosy!

I did, however, end up getting it looked at by her. As I suspected she wanted to complete a round of antibiotics first....which did nothing for the lump but the scratch marks were gone. I was still nervous so my doctor agreed to do a mammogram and ultrasound, even though my prior mammogram within the year was fine. I heard nothing back but felt like the lump was growing. A month later I returned to her. She reminded me that lymph nodes can take a while to shrink back down after an infection and advised me to give it more time. She read the report to me: "there is no mammographic evidence of malignancy" and (ultrasound) "no suspicion of malignancy". She appealed to my nursing background to remember how it is with Mono. I felt chagrined but relieved. I did not ask for a copy of the report, which also happens to state: "negative breast imaging should not delay aspiration or biopsy of a clinically suspicious mass." My doctor believed the tools and, although I was still worried, I was happy to get back to my nursing studies with a clearer mind. I also decided to see a holistic practitioner who assured me my lymph system was acting normally following the stress of the recent death of my mother, and that seeing her could help this healing along.

A month later, I was starting to have pain down my left arm with moderate activity; it started to intensify over the next week. I called my doctor who agreed, finally, to arrange for a fine needly biopsy. I could see that the pathologist was holding back his judgement when I asked if all seemed well when he did the aspiration. Sure enough, I was called to my doctor's office for the results. She stood with her head down and said it was metastatic breast cancer and she had never seen a presentation like this before. I was linked up to our Tom Baker Cancer Centre where further tests and scans revealed a 7 cm mass encasing the left sub-clavian artery (and tumours elsewhere as well) and wide-spread, extensive bone involvement. The shock was immense for our family; it felt like the hole kept getting deeper and deeper that we needed to climb out of.

My husband is incredibly supportive and is a naturally mindful, joyful person who has been there for me every step of the way. I have a great circle of supportive friends as well. I belong to a metastatic breast cancer support group and attend sessions at our Wellspring. Despite all this, distressing thoughts have returned, triggered at different times, which cause me grief and guilt.

"Did I drink too much wine in my life?" "Did I stress too much through the Nursing Refresher program and my mother's death?" "Why didn't I ask for the reports and not worry about being a 'Nervous Nellie'? Why didn't I demand that biopsy earlier?" "Why didn't my Doctor act sooner, based on good clinical skills or even on my concerns?" I do realize that I was metastatic already but the delay made things seem worse, especially for my feeling so very helpless and worried for an extra 2 months.

So, I have been sitting here and really exploring these feelings over again, with the re-framing technique you recommended. The feelings are destructive, causing me sadness, guilt, frustration, and anger. I think I deal with them.....but then they come back!!! I am going to use the three columns from now on whenever such a thought re-surfaces. I'll do it very time. The compassionate parent would say: "your doctor is not perfect and has probably learned a lesson from this. You trusted in her judgement and also in the tools. Trust isn't a bad thing. It may have delayed treatment but you still responded very well to the chemotherapy which followed. You were able to manage to move up some of the tests that were ordered. Cancer is multi-factoral and you will never know why it occurred in you the way it did so dwelling on it only makes you feel bad." And finally: "After 3 1/2 years with this disease, and four chemotherapy lines I AM STILL HERE! And despite some physical disabilities now, I can still see, hear and smell the spring and rejoice in the love of family and friends."

Somehow, I feel like this is the answer for me. I deserve better than I've given myself and it's time for some loving kindness from myself to myself. Thank-you so much for an incredible series that I can apply to my life. And thank-you also for listening to my story. I am looking forward to continued growth and learning.

Anonymous

2011-06-05T17:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Maureen

Thankyou for your kind note. By all means, you may put anything I said (or say) on the cancer blog and I have absolutely no objection to my name being shown. I am proud to have been a part of the Skills for Healing weekend and meeting Rob and Tim. I am now reading the "Healing Circle" book which they so kindly gave out to everyone and re-living the experience.

As I said to Rob on the weekend, it is a strange thing, but my life has been so much richer since I was diagnosed with a rare and incurable (for now) version of the bone marrow failure disease MDS, and I have learned so much at our local Wellspring, which hosted last weekend's Healing Circle. Knowing you are among people who know what you are going through has made such a difference and I have learned a great deal about meditation, mindfulness, and yoga too. I enjoy life so much more than I used to and greet each day cheerfully with a smile. The little things don't bother me any more.

Please thank Rob and Tim again for me, for the great work they are doing, and for coming all the way to Brampton to share their message. When I was at Wellspring today, the Healing Circle was the main topic of conversation and everyone said how great it was and how much it helped them.

Kind regards,

Anonymous

2011-05-23T18:10:00.000-07:00

As you said there is a real power in hearing from those living in the condition of their physical vulnerability. If only we could all have a little of that sense of vulnerability and weakness in our daily attitudes in a "go get em" society. The thought that came to me is that this acceptance Karen speaks of becomes a kind of strength we don't expect, as it knits us together into wholeness. She also spoke of hopefulness, which has a very powerful meaning when used as hope beyond desire. One of my favourite psalms is "You know my inmost being: you knew me before I was knit together in my inmost being." (Psalm 139:13). In listening to the question about demanding something ("demandez") of God it causes me to contemplate that God (creator, revealer, knower) is a knower of our hope and accepting of it. He/She radiates back love as an answer, saying like Paul (Col. 2:2) "I want hearts to be encouraged and united (also "knit together"/ "woven") in love." (I am inspired to do some word study/exegetical work on the words "knit", "woven" and "united" and their use and correlations in scripture ... by this discussion). People are making an authentic attempt here to get beyond Babel's blockades of meaning and reach one another's hearts, which is a very hopeful thing in of itself. When a Christian friend of mine, who has a chronic illness, speaks about her illness on facebook it has a similar quality of acceptance when she openly reaches out to her friends for acceptance of the pain and anxiety she's feeling and through the sharing of the wholeness (holy) of spirit of others, she feels a sense of acceptance from the comments of love and encouragement she receives back. She has told me that for her the cross is the path that helps her understand her life, meaning that she feels God had a complete identification and acceptance of her pain as well, for he has experienced it and wishes for us to heal in the most profound of ways.

Blessings this day,

Pure Listening

2011-05-23T18:07:00.001-07:00

I was practicing 'pure listening' today. Contrast with 'active listening' (where you are pouring energy into what someone is saying, fully of sympathy, dancing to their tune) and 'negative listening' (where you are sucking energy from someone while they speak, ignoring them, caught up in your own thoughts).

Pure listening means staying in your own awareness of what is happening (like a mirror) and even imagining that the person speaking to you is part of your own personal experience, inside your field of awareness. This way, you neither add or subtract anything, but the person will feel themselves drawn into a space where nothing is missing. No need to perform, to convince, to get something, to throw away anything. Silence can come, half a sentence can come. Makes no difference. No judgment. Just two things: wisdom (that "I" am really nothing) and love (that "I" am actually everything). We help dissolve the other's suffering with the wisdom that it is a construction that doesn't change their completeness, and with the love that wants to hold them in that space where their constructions melt like snowflakes falling on the warm water of non-interference.

All part of the view that I think indigenous folks long ago lived daily, which is that all of us inside, in that space of blissful awareness, are already and always complete.

If this is so, a nice question to ask yourself whenever you encounter someone, no matter their external presentation, health or illness, friendliness or otherwise, an interesting question to ask is: 'do I see them as already complete?'

This is also a good question to ask of oneself.

Feedback Worth Sharing!

2011-04-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

"It really does give a different way to approach cancer...I like the acceptance of what is versus the "battle or fight of your life" thinking. I first saw the 45 minute video from the week-end retreat and was totally impressed with both Doctors. It gives understanding and compassion to the word doctors...the healers of not only the body but the mind and the spirit. It has made a believer out of me that the spirit can heal the body......and that is a wonderful focus.

Thank you all for making this happen for those of us who live over an hour away. It is awesome."

-Comment from someone who attended our first webcast

http://www.healingandcancer.org/8weeks

http://gingerbreadguts.com/

2011-04-24T08:16:00.000-07:00

"In any event, in came the radiation oncologist.

But, hey, for the purposes of this blog, we could just call him Mr. Lovely. Or Mr. Perfect. Or Mr. Super Nice Guy. Or Mr. Special. At the time, however, I called him The Rocket. He was lean and fit and just like my naturopath, his skin glowed with great health and he didn’t miss a trick.

At this point, I really wasn’t thinking about what God may or may not have been lining up so I could reach my goal of ‘Shalom’ – a Hebrew word that means, ‘nothing missing, nothing broken’. I possessed no earthly contacts to advance my pleading case of mastectomy with immediate reconstruction, so I was pretty much biding my time, hanging on to this diseased body part as chemo continued to shrink the lump within.

The Rocket greeted me and I marveled at how well people in medical positions talk to you as though you look perfectly normal to them. He acted like I was not sitting in a washed-out shapeless Johnny shirt, devoid of eyelashes and eyebrows, wearing a wig I singed by opening the oven door with it on while baking. (Melt, baby, melt.)

He asked me something. I don’t recall what, but a greeting kind of question.

I answered him. I don’t recall what, but it seemed like a rather innocuous response.

“So,” he said, “You’re a spiritual person!”

I started to look at him again – more carefully – to see if he was sporting some kind of spiritual antennae that I had carelessly overlooked at first glance. I was completely caught off guard.

“Aaahhh. Ummm. Yes. I am.”

“What kind?”

“Ahhhh. Ummm.” Do I tell him? “Christian.”

“Great!” he said. “Then what would you like to tell me?” There was not one whiff of sarcasm or judgment or disdain in his voice.

What did I want to say, indeed. I was so excited to be the presence of a doctor who actually thought it was okay to bring my spirituality into the cancer equation. What did I want to say?

“I want to tell you that I have listened deep within myself and I’m not going anywhere.” Okay, here it comes. He’s gonna say something about how I can’t hope for that.

“Wonderful,” he said. “So, you need me to help you get, what, another 50 years or so?”

I am really bad at math, so that took a minute for me to compute … Oh, he’s saying he wants to help me live till I’m 95.

“Yes, that would be fine!”

There are many, many things I could tell you about The Rocket. And I probably will. He is a rare and exotic bird living in the forest of doctors.

And if I wasn’t paying attention to what God was doing in the details, that encounter that day with that man reminded me again that Someone with a much bigger view of my life knew I needed a spiritual boost – and a champion inside the system to help me reach my goal.

Unbeknownst to me, The Rocket would play what I would characterize as a divinely pivotal role nearly three months later when I was drowning in confusion and disappointment and anger about how it was all going down."

link http://gingerbreadguts.com/

Listened In

2011-04-24T08:13:00.000-07:00

When a Christian friend of mine, who has a chronic illness, speaks about her illness on facebook it has a similar quality of acceptance when she openly reaches out to her friends for acceptance of the pain and anxiety she's feeling and through the sharing of the wholeness (holy) of spirit of others, she feels a sense of acceptance from the comments of love and encouragement she receives back. She has told me that for her the cross is the path that helps her understand her life, meaning that she feels God had a complete identification and acceptance of her pain as well, for he has experienced it and wishes for us to heal in the most profound of ways.

2011-04-09T11:12:00.000-07:00

Published on April 7, 2011

Cancer education session, discussion Saturday at Glooscap Heritage Centre

Breast cancer survivor Margaret Ross, right, hugs her father Ron Ross at his home in Millbrook. The retired RN wants people to understand the benefits of breast screening and learn coping tools at an upcoming free education session

Glooscap Heritage Centre , Healing and Cancer Foundation , MILLBROOK

MILLBROOK – Margaret Ross will never forget the words she heard sitting with her physician, striking with such force it shook her to the core. "You've got cancer," she heard, as the rest of the conversation became a blur of words. She barely remembers being told referrals would be made as soon as possible to remove the lump growing in her left breast. "It's quite a shock to hear it," said Ross, nearly two-and-a-half years after her positive diagnosis and subsequent successful treatment of the disease. "I actually got lost walking home." Today she is feeling well and is volunteering with the Healing and Cancer Foundation, reinforcing the importance of breast screening and early detection, as well as helping others who share a similar life-changing experience. "The first evidence of problems was around 2002," Ross said. She said a small growth in another area of the breast was tested and considered a false alarm. After that episode, Ross underwent routine breast screening as a precaution. "It wasn't really until toward the end of 2008 there was definitely a tumor in the left breast." Within three months the less-than-two-centimeter growth was removed, followed by radiation treatments. Now at age 59, the former Millbrook resident, retired RN and cancer survivor wants to help others coping with the disease by sharing her story along with educating people about services offered by the foundation. Saturday from 1 to 4 p.m. the foundation will host The Healing Circle, a free public talk and reading by radiation oncologist Dr. Rob Rutledge and psychotherapist Dr. Tim Walker. The Healing Circle is a compilation of stories of people who have been on the journey of recovery from cancer. "I see this as part of my own recovery," said Ross. "I know there are families here who have family members who have been diagnosed with cancer. "Family members don't always have a chance to talk about how they are freaking out, too and this is a chance for them to talk about how they are feeling." Ross said she is hoping people will come to the event to learn about tools, which can be learned to promote good health and maintain it. "Recovery has a lot to do with hope and attitude," she said. "One has to be a fighter to deal with this type of disease." She said the event would give people with a common issue a chance to network and learn from one another, while receiving expert advice from health professionals.

Integrating Wisdom and Love on the Breast Cancer Journey

2011-03-12T10:03:00.001-08:00

Introduction to my talk to be given by videoconference on Monday March 14 at 8PM EST entitled “Integrating Wisdom and Love on the Breast Cancer Journey”.

I’m really excited about being with you – people who are so proactive with their own health and health care. You really can make such a difference in your health. Just by listening to this talk, you are sending a powerful message to your body and spirit about healing and wholeness. I want to honour you all.

Over the next 45 minutes with Q+A to follow, I want to provide you with a practical and integrated approach to a breast cancer diagnosis that will give you the best chance of healing both physically and otherwise. To draw on the burgeoning scientific evidence and the wisdom of working with 1000’s of women who have faced breast cancer both in clinic and in our support groups.

But instead of just outlining ways to empower your body, mind and spirit, I’d like to take a step back and explore healing from a much bigger perspective. Because the fact is you already know what’s best for you, you have this information – or you can easily figure it out by truly listening your Self – that quiet voice that can guide your every decision towards what’s exactly best for you.

Instead I’m going to address a bigger question:

How can you live your life with so much love and wisdom, with so much purpose and gratitude, that Healing, true healing, will happen naturally. How is it that you can draw on something so deep that the spirit of life and healing infuses your every cell, directs your every action, and lights your spirit in everything you do? How is it that you can draw the highest spiritual principles right down into your life in the day to day? In so doing, transforming your life, healing yourself at levels of body, mind and spirit.

So this talk is more about the attitude you bring to your cancer experience – and how your approach to your own healing can have a profound effect on the actual outcome.

So you’re going to hear practical advice about what to do to promote healing– but moreso I want to focus on Love, and why adopting a loving attitude towards yourself, others and your relationship with life itself can be profoundly healing.

I first learned about the idea of healing over 20 years ago when I was a medical student searching for the type of doctor I wanted to be……

Contact Julie.s.matheson@gmail.com to learn more.

Or visit www.healingandcancer.org

Emotions & Cancer

2011-02-14T08:05:00.000-08:00

Here are a few questions asked by a local reporter in regards emotions and Cancer:
Are previously reticent people more open to discussing emotions and spirituality once they have been diagnosed with cancer?

I have heard that attitude is an important part of beating cancer. How can loved ones help cancer patients change their attitude if it is not positive?

Responses from Dr. Rutledge

The response to a cancer diagnosis is highly variable - but most people approach their diagnosis as they have approached their life. Sometimes the cancer diagnosis can open people right up - like Andrew (see inspiring video link for his story on our website). Cancer provides a real opportunity to realize that life is very precious whether we live for another 2 years or 52 years. When people consider that carefully, they may be able to facilitate a deep transformation in their lives.

Being a loved one is very difficult. Lots of stress and often little to do but listen and brings one's loving presence to the person with the diagnosis. I don't recommend trying to change anyone - I think if we change ourselves - do our own work, deal with our own fears, let go of our judgements, be honest and open with our own emotions, then that brings a space in the relationship which may facilitate a change in perspective - but loving the person for where they are at is the goal.

Facing emotions head on: The most obvious example is working with the fear of recurrence or death. If every time those feelings come up, you simply try to suppress it, then the issue won't go away - and often comes out in different ways. If we look at the fears, we begin to understand them, untangle them, question them. It takes the power away from the fear - and we can let go of the exaggerations and extra suffering

A Few Words From Andrew

2011-01-02T09:01:00.000-08:00

The following blog is by Andrew who was featured in Chapter 5 in The Healing Circle. Andrew was treated for an agressive brain tumour over 3 years ago and is doing extremely well.

This is a "Meta-Meditation" he uses everyday as part of his healing practice.

May I be safe from internal and external harm

May I be happy - just as I am

May I be healthy - may my body serve me well

May I be peaceful - and at ease

Like many of life’s events, any healing journey exposes you. It can shatter or build you up depending on your attitude, intention and commitment; e.g., a cancer trek is not for the faint of heart. Character is fostered at all times but in tougher times, whether patient, caregiver or MD, it reveals itself as you are tested of life’s diverse levels simultaneously, that is, physical, intellectual emotional and spiritual.

The journey is made quite complex since it is a marathon not a sprint. For me, meditation became a vital part of a journey (dharma/Path) to health. It reduced stress and offers time to sort things in my mind. I believe it might be helpful for others for, its calming effect reduces blood pressure and helps receive a focus with fortitude that can be coupled with a healthier life-style e.g. balanced diet, exercise and sleep.

One helpful form of meditation I found was Mettā which is one of 10 pāramitās of the Theravāda school of Buddhism*. Buddhists believe that if you are at peace, you become happier in yourself – perhaps a bit like being on an idyllic warm beach in the Caribbean when you know it is winter cold at home in Canada.

While Mettā takes about 20 minutes to do, its effects last longer. Over time, it centers peace into you. It is an antidote to fear since it helps you focus to a return to ‘self’ as it trains your heart. It plants seeds of intention and like flowers, some flower soon but other seeds take a while to bloom.
After preparatory relaxed breathing, meditate on a shortened form (bold) or, a longer form (italics). Longer forms exist but their purpose is the same. They fill your heart’s reservoir with essences of loving kindness, friendliness, benevolence, amity, friendship, goodwill, love, kindness, sympathy and interest in others. The object is love without attachment which starts by expressing it toward inward. You must love ‘you’ before you can love others.

With practice, your reservoir of loving kindness fills. When full, you can direct it to others, friends and foes, known and unknown - like waves ripple out when a stone is tossed into calm waters. You can only give it away easily if you harbour no ill-will and have no personal motive; but if not full, e.g. as a caregiver, your energetic battery drains and leads to ‘burn out’.

Wonderful words craft Mettā, but can you reveal meditative concepts with limits like words? Not really. It is better to feel them; but that said, here is an attempt:

1. Safe - Everyone needs to be safe. Harmful things in a world outside can range from a corrupt political system to street hooligans to fierce weather. It can be worse if you hear harmful voices in your mind ranging from bad habits to unresolved conflicts. Whatever it is, Mettā offers a way to train your mind to get to an inner safe place free from perceptions of danger. It gets front-row-seats to see an amazing person – you!

1. Happy - Everyone dreams to be happy. Imagine the exquisite nature of wanting to be happy “… just as I am …”. This is not the happiness of a new car or a hug which are great; rather, it is a deeper, profoundly simple being-ness of “who you are”. While some say happiness is a choice; others say it’s elusive often realized only by a receptive heart giving this great gift away. This is accepting things observer non judgmentally, as an observer i.e., as they are. It is not complacency. You want to make the world better - as Gandhi once said: “… be the change you want the world to be…”.

2. Healthy – Everyone wants to be healthy! Why would you not want your body(s) to be in fine shape so there is no pain? The good news is that we are human but that often comes with foibles of doing many thing(s) that are destructive to the body e.g. smoking, food excesses, etc. It is paradoxical to want good health but not work toward it. Health is aided when you are aligned with your authentic self – it’s less stress; for, it is you. At a different level, consider what is your body? Is it only physical or are there emotional, intellectual or spiritual fields?

3. Peaceful – We all wish for peacefulness, Mettā’s 4^th request. Being at one with whom you really ‘are’, i.e. your Authentic Self, is the nucleus of ease. It is the opposite of dis-ease. It starts with you and builds to home, country and world from your mind and heart. Only here can a powerful alignment transform you into being at one with yourself and the cosmos. This oneness with others or numinosity is one element in enlightenment (the 2 others are openness and curiosity). It’s in you to discover - you are the only one who can find your peace and how you are connected to others.
Over time, practicing Mettā improves my capabilities, ability to understand my mental and emotional states and deal more effectively with stressors. (Scientifically this meant changing activity in some areas of my brain i.e. temporal parietal juncture and insula - but let’s get back to Mettā.) Meditation soon became a sanctuary, as it reinforces that I must acknowledge the truth of who I am so I feel good about it. Clearly, sometimes facing my ‘self’ is not easy; but by doing it, I feel healthier at all levels. Consider: if I do not heal at all levels, then some form of dis-ease could be still in me. Hence, if I want aspects of Mettā, part of my quest must be to create peace-fullness in all levels of the physical, emotional and spiritual dimensions.

I can easily remind myself of travelling to a beautiful spot and that I can be there virtually any time in my mind’s eye. How comforting! It is similar (but different) to how I felt just before cancer surgery when I felt a surreal sense that all would be fine. A most remarkable comfort showered me. It was a “peace that passed all understanding” the likes of which I have not felt before or since; a feeling so powerful and unique it will be remembered forever.

I had heard that phrase before many times but that was when I experienced it. While that amazing moment cannot be explained scientifically, it launched me on a road to recovery with a feeling this was the place to be - my ‘dharma’ or Path, so to speak.

As my experiences evolve, I re-discover that my journey is more about finding various forms of peace and truth within me. I find the practice of Mettā meditation is one way to grow, cultivate and train my ‘self’ to find ‘me’.

The awareness triggered is that meditation channels a trust, a type of freedom as I contact my ‘self’. This encourages wholeness, (read: health) as I enjoy profound senses of my ‘self’ and my world while being connected with others. Metta is a channel to connectedness that leads to wholeness and happiness. It is the essence of gentlelovingkindness.

Looking back, why had I not done this meditation before? I guess I hadn’t had to. There was no urgency then; but now there is. So I do it regularly now to feel safe, happy, healthy and peaceful during walks in the forest, just sitting in my chair and being with others. Maybe others will enjoy it too.

Cool!

Audrey's Eulogy

2010-12-13T13:59:00.001-08:00

Thank you all for attending my Mom’s memorial service – and joining us in honouring her and celebrating the many ways she touched people’s lives here in Qualicum and throughout her 80 years with us. I’ve only come to appreciate Mom’s true greatness through what other people have told me about her.

I’d like to reflect on Mom’s life since she was diagnosed with cancer. She fully embraced life, and found ways to express her love and caring for others despite her illness. Her great character over the last year certainly made it much easier on her family, and the fact that she had little pain or physical suffering, was a true blessing.

Listening to my eulogy, you may be left with the impression that my Mom’s approach to the cancer diagnosis, is the preferred way to work with a life threatening illness. And I’m about to describe the many ways she inspired me with her strength and resilience.

But I just want to add as an aside, as a cancer doctor with a passion for support groups, that there is no best way to approach cancer. Each of us is different, and we will find our own way. If I’d offer an advice, for those with an illness and the family members, I’d say to be honest with your emotions, both to others and to yourself. It’s perfectly human to be angry, anxious, scared, depressed, and frustrated. It’s best to express these emotions to others, to open up the communication in connection and support. That is the starting place to the healing journey. Enough with the advice.

We got the first impression of Mom’s strength and perhaps the magic that surrounded her when she was first diagnosed. She first developed electric sensations in her abdomen that shot up her chest during a trip in Greece a year ago. She became progressively confused, and by the time she got to the Nanaimo Emergency department, she was babbling about being on the high seas. As if on cue, while Mom listened to the doctor describe the tangerine sized tumour in her brain she seemed to awake from her reverie. Confronted with this awful news she said “Well, I’ve got it. I’ll have to accept it, and we’ll just go down that road.” After which she again digressed to her inner visions of boats and planes.

Mom was stoic right from the start. Through the surgery,and the rest of her treatments her mantra was the famous British slogan created during the war:
“Keep calm and carry on”.

And if you think about it this vivacious, active, intelligent, engaged woman’s life was shattered by this diagnosis. And it must have been painful lying in bed, and it was boring, and just so incredibly frustrating for her. After working so hard to become self-sufficient in every way, it must have been devastating to lose her independence.

And yet, I can hardly remember even an inference of complaint from her. Not that she wouldn’t ask for help from her others. It’s just that she was so busy considering how others felt – especially her family – that her focus was rarely on herself.

Even more so, her sense of humour and wit, remained unstoppable to the end.

I remember staying at her bedside after her brain surgery in January. The evening before I was travelling back to Halifax, I was feeling really sad to see my mom looking so frail, and knowing I would soon be leaving. Mom was bandaged up, on the brink of sleep, and very weak. I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, and in the most earnest voice said “Mom, I love you a lot”. Her whisper was barely audible in replya “and I love you….. a little.”

We had the major decision to make at the end of her radiotherapy as to whether she could return to her home or to go immediately to the Manor. The sad truth was it was too dangerous for her to be at home by herself (although she would contest that) – but she agreed to the nursing home because she didn’t want to be a burden to her family.

In march on the day that I would travel home again, with great trepidation, I dropped off Mom at the Manor. I was thinking she’s going to be upset, sitting in her room alone. But as soon as she got to the floor, she spotted Aldine in her wheelchair. The two held each others arms, their eyes just glowing. Aldine was saying “Oh, Audrey, it’s so good to see you, you were the very first volunteer who took me out for a walk when I first arrived here. I really appreciate that.” The two just chatted away like they were life-long friends. As it turns out, for the subsequent six months, every few nights, Aldine would give mom a reflexology session. Placing her healing hands on Mom’s feet, Aldine would help Mom relax and be energized by the treatments. I know Aldine loved these sessions and was getting as much out of them as was mom. But Mom reciprocated by arranging for a monthly manicure for Aldine. Even in sickness, in the last few months of life, Mom was deepening the bonds with her friends and family. Her light was glowing ever so brightly.

The other word that comes to mind when thinking about Mom in the last year is
fearlessness. And fearlessness does not mean having no fear. It more the willingness to follow own’s heart, with the confidence that you’ll have the strength to face whatever arises.

One of the cards that Mom received had a famous quote from Mother Theresa “I know God won't give me anything I can't handle.” She cried when she read those words, and it appeared to increase her resolve to “Keep calm and carry on.”

I thought Mom was particularly brave when she travelled to Halifax in August accompanied by her grandson. Her energy was starting to wane, she was more unsteady on her feet, and her memory was quite poor. But etched forever in my mind is a memory a sunny afternoon in the in public gardens listening to the big band sounds.

During that trip , my wife, Cara, and our boys, aged 11 and 15, and cousin James, took Mom to Peggy’s Cove. Everyone, including mom, wanted to get to the top of the huge boulders, for a look out over the ocean. This meant a little mountain climbing, so with one young man on each arm, and a third pushing up the rear (literally), they hoisted mom up top to a wonderful view. The journey back down the rock face was even more interesting, but mom never complained, and we have a wonderful picture of happy kids standing beside a glowing-faced Audrey.

I think Mom went through a spiritual transformation in her last months. She began to see beauty in the world wherever she looked. Each person she was with was just ‘beautiful’. When her 15-year-old grandson so lovingly fed her, she was brought to tears with a sense of gratitude. And my heart is forever imprinted with the way she said to me “Your such a wonderful son.”

The last week of her life was a very precious time for me. I was on the very early morning shift, and we had some intimate conversations in the middle of the night as she waned in and out of lucidity.

She told me that she didn’t want me to be sad after she was gone. I told her that it was natural for us to feel those strong emotions – that people need to grieve in their own time and in their own way. But I also told her that despite the fact that she was within days of her death, there were times I felt great joy just being in her presence. It was as if our spirits had melded somehow, and I truly felt lightened and more spacious as I’d walked away in the morning. I said that we could feel both happy and sad at the same time.

She thought about what I said carefully – and said “I want you to share this with the others” which I suspect she meant our family, but I somehow hope we can all hold those feelings when reflecting on Audrey’s life.

I was especially interested in our nightly conversations because I was worried that Mom was scared on dying. She had been having nightmares about wolves and cougars circling the cabin. And I know that as human beings we have an instinctive fear of death, that our body and psyche will continue to cling to life.

Mom was very clear with me. She was not scared of dying. She has a very strong faith, and there was just not an issue of the afterlife for her. In fact, in this church in march, a parishioner approached Mom, saying how inspired she was with mom’s faith when they had spoken weeks before. This young woman was in tears at the end of the conversation. That spiritual light was being handed over to the next generation.

The last 24 hours of mom’s life were quite remarkable. Lou Ann arrived from India just in time to have the last meaningful words. Remarkably, Mom didn’t suffer much. There was an episode of shortness of breath, that quickly settled with medication, and she slipped into coma, and then into the next realm less than 12 hours later.

Mom was surrounded by the three of us at her last breath. And is so typical for Mom, her last act in this life was to bring her loved ones together.
Mom brought us together. It was most beautiful shared moments of our lives.

Thank you again for sharing this time with us – and honouring the life of this great woman.

Cancer Care Nova Scotia Excellence in Patient Care Nomination

2010-11-07T09:05:00.000-08:00

Cancer Care Nova Scotia

Excellence in Patient Care

Nomination for Dr. Robert Rutledge, MD, Radiation Oncologist

Dr. Robert Rutledge exudes health and life. He understands his personal power as a doctor and leader and clearly practices the reality of eating, exercising and living well. Within this ‘health’ context, Rob – as he will be quick to tell you to call him – has developed the practice of being completely present when you are with him. It’s just you and Rob (and your loved one, if appropriate). It’s as though he has nothing else in the whole world to do but be there with you, listen (and listen) to your concerns and when necessary, deal with them. No matter what state you arrive in (usually stressed and fearful), you will leave his presence calm and collected with a sense that ‘all is well’ regardless of what you are facing with cancer.

Rob is extremely professional, which is particularly crucial considering the intimate types of cancer he deals with: breast and prostrate, as well as children’s cancer. He prefers to talk to you in your real clothes and not the Johnny shirts that so strip you of your sense of dignity and identity. He is honest, frank, compassionate, thoughtful and incredibly observant. He is confident without being arrogant and he is always looking to see what kind of a patient you are – what level of care do you require? This is the critical question that separates him from most others.

Are you looking for science to fix your cancer? He’s got that. Do you need someone to help you face your very real (and often dark) emotions? He’s not afraid to ask the tough questions with you. Is your support structure sagging? He is clear about the benefits of support groups for you and your loved one, and he is quick to tune in on yours, and your loved one’s, emotional frequency. Are you seeking spiritual answers for the sorry health prognosis you are facing? Rob can comfortably respond to that too. It’s as though he is sporting three antennae – physical, emotional, spiritual – with a sonar scan to pick up your overall state-of being. He misses nothing. Respects all. Never condescends. He can meet you where you are, no matter where you are!

What’s more, Rob offers hope regardless of the statistics and prognosis. Add bad cancer news to Rob Rutledge and the sum equals hope and possibility. He knows cancer is a head game, and he comes right alongside whatever is happening in your head to work towards the best possible outcome.

Although only in his mid-forties, Rob has spent his life’s work wanting to extend his help beyond his regular medical practice. “I realized early in my career I wanted to understand the human side of the cancer experience and apply those learnings to help others,” he said. Cancer as a disease carries an unbelievable burden of doom with it, despite how much greater survival rates are, and it is this doom that Rob enables patients to face – and reframe – into something bearable and very ‘carry-able’.

All these qualities – his personal wellness leadership, mindfulness, professionalism, commitment to respond to patient questions and concerns – merit the committee’s deep consideration for this award. However, Rob was not satisfied staying within the medical system to empower people on their journey to wellness. Early in his career, Rob and his colleague, Psychotherapist Tim Walker, PhD, decided to develop a weekend retreat workshop called “Skills for Healing Cancer”. Really. Healing Cancer. Two words you rarely find together on conventional cancer websites patients are directed to for information and support. Since 1993, they have, on their own time and dime, led over 30 weekend retreats in 15 cities in Canada and abroad, helped more than 1,000 people face, and reframe, their cancer experience. More, in 2003 they developed Skills for Wellness programs for healthcare providers to empower their colleagues to extend the reach and impact of the work they had started.

From the weekend retreats, they created the Healing and Cancer Foundation, now a registered Canadian charity; wrote a book being launched May 6, 2010; and created a website (www.HealingandCancer.org) offering all their weekend retreat wisdom and cancer patients’ true stories free of charge to anyone who wishes to view (and use) them. While this is a team effort, Rob is the heavy lifter and the energetic driver that keeps this huge and inspiring body of work moving in the right direction – endorsing conventional medicine while gently awakening and encouraging patients to see the mind-body-spirit connection.

When people are asked to describe Rob, most often the response is ‘he is a very special person’. Using Rob’s phrasing, we would say he is ‘super special’.

I hope you will seriously consider Dr. Robert Rutledge for this very deserving award. I do not think it is too bold a statement to say he has positively impacted the lives of any one he has encountered on their cancer journey.

Sincerely yours,

Kelly Hennessey

Rob Rutledge’s patient, 2008-09

What is Wholeness?

2010-09-27T05:59:00.000-07:00

Firstly, consider what it means to heal. A woman with breast cancer told us at the start of the weekend retreat that she had either hid her diagnosis from family members / or minimized her symptoms and concerns from those she told. In essence, she was 'doing it alone'. By the end of the weekend retreat, she felt compelled to be open and honest, and to ask for help when it was appropriate. Healing in this case took place at a social level - perhaps spurred on from a healing of a psychological wound.

Another obvious example of healing occurs when someone who is angry at their diagnosis can begin to come to terms with it - to find acceptance. Somehow, we all intuitively know that holding onto anger at life creates more suffering - it poisons our relationships, and eats away (in some real way) at our body. That's not to say we shouldn't feel anger - but not to hold onto it, not let it fold up upon itself, and squeeze the life out of our heart. It's healthier to feel and express this anger - to let it flow through us, so that we can move on to experiencing the fullness of our life.

Wholeness, for me (and Tim would have a richer description) has to do with being able to hold all of ourselves - all of the anger, all of the issues we have with our family members, all of our strength - everything. Wholeness is a change in perception - not a change in reality.

When we can see ourselves fully, when we can love ourselves wholely, it creates a space which better allows the process of healing to occur - whether it be to reconnect with others, let go of unnecessary anger, or empower our immune system. Wholeness allows us to see ourselves as perfect just as we are - "I love and accept myself just as I am right now - and I honour that I am on the ongoing process of healing my life."

Lessons learned from the ‘metastatic’ cancer support group

2010-08-26T10:53:00.000-07:00

As I walk down the hallway in the British Columbia Cancer Agency’s Vancouver Clinic, I can hear the excited Voices and chuckles from the first arrivals of my first ‘metastatic’ cancer support group. Sydney Foran, the social worker who has led the group for several years, walks beside me, her stride is smooth, and her face shines as she looks forward. Sydney will mentor me alongside this remarkable group of women. As a full-time oncologist with a passion for empowering people beyond getting physical care, I feel like I’m coming home.

There are eight women who gather this particular afternoon. They have traveled from near and far, play different roles in their outside lives, and vary outwardly in appearance and life history as much as any sample of society. But there is something very refreshing about being with them. Perhaps it’s the way they greet each other or the way they offer me a chair so readily in their group. You can see it shining in their eyes. I see little of the masks that most people wear at work and in the social circles. They care deeply about each other. As they catch up with each other before the group starts, the first lesson is dawning on me.

The support group is not something that they’ve tacked on to their lives. It’s not an extra parcel in a large bag of tasks to be performed each week. The group here is at the very core of their psychological (and sometimes practical) support. They have literally created a web of friends who deeply understand each other, who love each other, and will be there on the phone or otherwise in a heartbeat. I feel lightened by being in the midst of a truely caring community.

The group starts with a simple exercise to bring the energy of each person back into the present – to ground them in the here and now. And then people speak from their heart. People typically feel completely and utterly safe to tell their own truth. It’s refreshing. One week I heard a woman speak about the grief she is suffering thinking about all the changes in her life. I don’t remember exactly what she said but she talked about the effect of the cancer on her family, and how she would miss them, and the frustrations of it all. Her voice was wavering, and the tears were pooling in her eyes. And in the same breath she told us of the incredible peace she has been experiencing, like she was being held in these loving arms, cradled in a source bigger than herself. This was my second big lesson.

People can experience turbulence at the psychological level and still be held by a deep inner peace. Like walking on the beach during a hurricane, the waves crashing, the wind blowing and soaking you to the skin, may represent the difficult psychological times on the cancer journey. But the same storm viewed from a mile up in the sky or 40 feet under the water’s surface is a much more peaceful place. This woman taught me that we can hold both perspectives at the same time.

There are many more lessons to be learned as you sit in the circle. From the very practical ways to negotiate the medical system (a woman in this group told us how she went to medical records directly to get the results of her CAT scan instead of waiting a week for her doctor to call her) to the deeply spiritual. Perhaps the most important lesson is that the wisdom is already there in each of us. We each heave a golden heart, the wise and kind part of ourselves, which can help guide us along the journey. The beauty of the support group is it provides us the time and space to listen to our own inner voice. It was a true honour to be part of the group and to learn from these remarkable women.

Type C Personalities

2010-08-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

Question: Are you familiar with the body of psychology research done on Type "C" personalities?

This is the mirror image of a Type "A" ... i.e. the really nice people who bottle up their emotions. Also, why they are more prone to getting cancer?

-Anonymous

A response from Rob:

This idea has been examined for a long time. ie repressed immune system. - or energetic constriction of energy causing cells to mutate.

I don't know if there is a causation of repressed character and higher chance of cancer. Perhaps for a small percentage this may be true - but from a population perspective I don't believe it. The studies also show that there is no obvious connection between a recent major stressor experience and onset of cancer.

Cancer is so complicated and multifactorial in its development that I don't like to try to create simplified theories about causation. I respect the intuition of any one individual about why they think they developed cancer - and to use cancer as a catalyst to make the changes in their life that they would want to make regardless of whether it is the cause or the cure. Working towards wholeness is justified in itself.

Sorry I can't elaborate - but the "don't know" state keeps me open to all these possibilities.

Namaste.

Rob

What Caused My Cancer?

2010-08-08T16:46:00.000-07:00

I'm reading "Grace and Grit" by Ken Wilbur, a brilliant man who has been able to integrate writing from around the world into a coherent map of the spiritual journey for humans. His wife, Treya, was diagnosed with breast cancer, and this book is about their amazing journey together.

When first diagnosed Treya asks the obvious question "What caused my cancer?" She was 36 at the time, and had a perfectly healthy lifestyle. She questioned whether there were mental, emotional, spiritual or other causes (beyond the physical) which if she addressed and corrected would lead to her recovery. For instance if she believed that repressed emotions suppress the immune system which lead to cancer, then learning to express emotions in a healthy way would empower the body to fight cancer.

I've heard and read many, many of these theories over the years. And the fact is that for any one person any of these theories may apply - so I don't discount the possibility especially if the person who is telling me believes it is the cause of their cancer.

But the reality is that I don't know. I believe that the vast vast majority of cancer are simply due to chance. As people age the cells degenerate with time, allowing for the cells to eventually carry enough changes in their genes to begin to divide out of control. Exposure to toxins like smoke or a fatty diet/lack of exercise can speed up the process, but essentially chance determines who gets cancer and when they get it.

I like Ken Wilbur's answer to his wife's question. "Since nobody knows what causes the cancer, I don't know what you should change in order to cure it. Why don't you use cancer as a metaphor and a spur to change all those things that you wanted to change in your life anyway."

So beyond getting the best care convential medicine has to offer, and empowering your body with healthy habits, practicing a relaxation technique, and working on finding peace and meaning in your life, use cancer as an opportunity to change in a way that's just right for you.

A few words from Rob

2010-07-25T12:35:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I sat on my back deck being interviewed by Boyd Sharpe- for footage we'll use for a documentary for people affected by brain tumours. At the end of the interview, Boyd wanted to the audience to know more about the personal side of my life so he said "Tell me about yourself."

I think he wanted me to say things like "I make an outdoor hockey rink in my front yard each year" or "I attend a karate class with my 15 year old son - it's a rare way to stay connected with my teenager" or "I love to ballroom dance with my wife."

But inevitably my mind goes blank when I'm asked to talk about myself. I don't think it's because I'm a humble person (I am blogging). It's more to do with a deeper spiritual feeling I have which is this:

There is no "me". Sure there's a body here that feels many sensations, and a personality for sure, and there's all these activities and thoughts and beliefs. But I can't identify the "I".

In the last few weeks I've had the urge to go to the library - and I found a book called the Translucent Revolution by Arjuna Ardagh. And I think it explains what I've been feeling. When asked the question 'who are you really?' I'm left with this incredible feeling of spaciousness and joy - a deep love for life itself.

Thankfully in this book many other supposedly normal people who are going through a spiritual transformation describe the same feeling/awareness.

So if you see me smiling while I'm flooding the rink, kicking my son, or floating over the dancefloor - you'll know why.

Please help us

2010-05-08T03:04:00.000-07:00

Jan Morrison just sent us a wonderful blog - but being a physician, I'm still struggling to figure out how to respond to her. (Jan, you can email info@healingandcancer.org to contact us directly)

For anyone else interested in helping us grow - please visit http://healingandcancer.org/support-hcf

Thanks everyone for your interest.
robr

2010-04-24T05:05:00.000-07:00

From Rob: Looking at the cards completed by participants at the end of the weekend I recently found this card:

I came... held tight by fear
I stumbled... my pain was too heavy
I wept... feeling less than whole
I leave... Comforted
... Affirmed
... Wanting to shine my light
... Knowing I am not alone
... Knowing I am whole

The power of asking

2010-04-18T10:31:00.000-07:00

At a sunday morning of a weekend retreat, Tim has just told the story about being with his father (from the chapter called When Fear is the Teacher, in our book, The Healing circle). see http://healingandcancer.org/booksanddvds

Judi, then added to this story. Her husband's grandfather, John, was nearing the end of his life in hospital. His second wife was admitted at the same time, and though, too weak to safely make the trip to his wife’s room, he sensed that she was dying, and in the middle of the night, staggered to her bedside to be with her for her last breaths.

As it turns out, John’s one fear at the end of his 94 years was to die with no one at his side. At the end of family reunion/birthday party, Judi asked John if there was anything she could do. He asked her to stay with him for the next few days as all the other relatives were going home. In the middle of the third night, John began to have visions, and seemed to be having a conversation with an invisible friend. He reached out his hand saying “It’s now my time to do the talking.” (Judi thinks he was talking to his first wife (deceased) because she often dominated the conversations). John was transformed by the vision – he literally glowed with a warm and joyful light.
The next morning he told Judi that he was no longer scared of dying alone, and told her that she could go home. John died just a day later – waiting until his son was at his side.

Welcome

2009-04-06T10:36:00.000-07:00

The Healing and Cancer Foundation equips people affected by cancer with an integrated and powerful approach to the cancer journey, helping them to heal at the level of body, mind and spirit.

Our integrated approach arose out of the ten-year collaboration an oncologist / Associate Professor of Medicine with a psychotherapist / spiritual teacher. We promote integrative oncology which means combining scientifically-based conventional medicine and health habits with wisdom-based healing practices and techniques. To facilitate recovery and reclaiming of wellness, we teach people to empower their bodies, settle their minds and nurture their spiritual lives. Ultimately, our work is about transformation and healing, and leading a life filled with love and purpose.

Namaste